my tide pools of life

Bye bye blog world

2010-08-16T18:23:00.001-07:00

Due to security and privacy, we will no longer by using the blog. :) Thank you.

Broken Family

2010-07-04T15:44:00.001-07:00

I just got my family back together again and now we are split. Yesterday we had a scary episode with Lady that brought 911 to our home, took us to the local hospital, and ended up flying her back down to Stanford. Now Eric is down there with her while Elliot and I stay at home. She in now on NJ feeds but they are talking about a G tube. She won't stop throwing up and she ended up aspirating fluid into her lungs. Her sats dropped to the 60s and she is on high flow O2 at 8L.

I don't know what to say. Elliot is exaspirated that she is BACK at the hospital and he says he doesn't want her to be there b/c he doesn't want to leave home again. *break my heart!* We've lost our Medi-Cal b/c of timing and us being in the Bay (Arden is covered her first year no matter what, but Elliot and I can't get sick or break an arm!) Although Premier is making us money, with all the added expenses of constantly traveling down to the Bay in gas, food, rent, etc, I don't know what we are going to to. We've stalled WIC so many times I don't think they will renew us next time. My relationship with Eric is strained, to say the least. Elliot is acting out a lot to get ANY attention, with so much being spent on Sister. I'm so tired and pretty depressed. Please pray for each of us. We need it. Thanks

down side to free internet:

2010-06-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

When using the internet at Stanford I can't log into my blog b/c apparently the content of blogs can't be monitored so it is considered "not child friendly" and therefore blocked. The internet at RMH is limited to when I can pick up the connection or when their internet room is open and I'm here. Hence the blog silence. I actually came here a few times and posted updates, only to be kicked off the site due to whatever with nothing saved... My frusteration at the lost time and energy just kept me away longer. Sorry!

To sum up June, it's been very hard. We've been dealing with Arden withdrawing from her meds, not eating, our family being separated once again, and again, and again, and more. Now, Eric and Elliot are home (it was Eric's father's day present to go home and get out of the RMH) and I am at the hospital with Lady. She is still there, but there is rumor of discharge the end of THIS WEEK! We don't know if it will be to RMH or home yet. I am praying for home, but I don't want to rush her recovery b/c I don't want her de-sating again and flown down here b/c we took her home too soon. Currently she isn't eating and being fed entirely by her NG tube. She'll take her pacifier and sucks on her fingers, but I believe she's associated eating with heart burn and puking and so she just doesn't. It will be something we will just have to push through. She is regulating her temp better, I'm praying the heat in Redding won't be too much for her!! We are getting discharged on a nebulizer for her, that is new, but will help her lungs.

Eric feels out of place at home since he's lived at RMH so long, Elliot has reached the end of his rope with our family not being together and cries more, and Lady and I are ready to get out of the hospital! Emotions rage from raw to jaded at this point, but the thought of discharge thrills me! I'll try to post again, but I don't know what access will look like. Will definitely write something when we get out, but I don't want to spend too much time here in case I kicked off again. :)

A new week

2010-05-31T11:33:00.000-07:00

This week needs to be good, because I am leaving Thursday for a marathon of shows, and my heart won't be able to leave if Arden isn't doing good. Today we heard in morning rounds that her BUN and crit numbers are high (these are in relation to her kidneys.) She's been on so many diuretics for so long, stress on the kidneys isn't uncommon, but definitely not desired! As we speak, little Reagan is struggling with her kidneys with MUCH higher numbers that they were actually talking about dialysis! Pray neither of the girls get to that point!

I finally got the Dr's to pull out her OJ (the feeding tube running from her mouth to her intestins) b/c she would gag and then throw up. I wasn't too concerned about her throwing up b/c babies throw up - but it was getting to the point that it would upset her for at least a 1/2 hour while the nurses cleaned her and her bed up. She was using so much energy in the process that she wasn't gaining weight. Now she has only thrown up when the dr's increase the amount of food she is getting. She does good at 15mLs/hour but the full feeds of 27 and even just 20 make her throw up. She they've upped her calories from 24 cal/oz to 26. We'll see how she does.

She got both her central lines out which mean we can hold her, but she still has her drainage tube in which is severely irritating. So we've both held her, but she seems to do better when she is on her bed. Hold her moves her around which is good for her and gets more drainage out as well, but getting more drainage out keeps the tube in longer. This stinks b/c she is uncomfortable longer, but I tell myself that the fluid would be in her anyways, so this is just getting it out faster. I don't know if that is actually how it works, but it makes me feel better when I hold her.

My mom took Elliot yesterday so Eric and I could have some time with Lady together. Then I'll travel back to Redding for the shows on Thursday, back down here on Sunday or Monday for an event Eric and I have been asked to speak at, and back up to Redding for more shows and hopefully by the time the next weekend is up and my others shows are over, Eric will just get to bring Lady back up to Redding and Elliot and I won't have to travel back down.

Thank you for your continued prayer over health, timing, unity, finances, insurance, and whatever God is leading you to pray for. We'd love to hear what you hear back from Him on these matters and more! Thanks!

Radio Station Recording

2010-05-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

Click the below link to hear the phone call when we won the Mercy Me Prize Pack! You'll hear us with the radio station, Renee's letter, and what Bart had to say to us. Amazing!
http://chirb.it/Bf18g4

Has it really only been four days?

2010-05-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

I feel like it's been forever since I posted last, but it's just been four days - crazy! I checked the news today to make sure we weren't in the middle of world war 3, we aren't. Even if we were, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't know. I can't explain the bizarre vortex time becomes when your life is the RMH and LPCH.

I was taking a break from updates b/c the last few days have had so many changes I didn't want to just be confusing. We are used to the constant change (kinda) but we know it can be complicated to read about.

So in summary, Arden is extabated. Victory! However we continue to struggle with her right upper lung and any weening that is done to get her off the high flow nasal cannula is reversed. Today I heard we successfully weened two liters and she is only at 6 now. Victory! Sigh, okay, so unfortunately we also lost her one PIV and her Arterial Line. She now only has her two central lines that go directly to her heart. These are the lines preventing us from holding her. They want to take them out Monday, which means we can hold her then, but it will leave her with no access so they want to take her to Cath and put a PICC line in. They tried looking at the bedside but her veins are just too small and too deep... and going to cath usually meaning getting intabated. Defeat. Big big defeat. The Dr. said she would pass the word to the respiratory team to do all they can to "bag her" for the procedure instead of intabating her, but we'll see how it goes. If they have to do that, we can't hold her until she is re-extabated... and that took weeks last time. Dr. Wright told us the day that she couldn't estimate how long we would be here b/c it's all up to Arden, but she said no less than two weeks. I've been praying over getting home by June, so it was defeating to hear that as well. We still don't know what will happen between now and June 2 (something important will happen that day, I can feel it) so I continue in prayer.

A pulminologist came in to see Arden finally b/c our heart team felt she had developed some sort of lung disease, but she couldn't say anything conclusive. She wanted to run two tests that "might" help, both requiring intabation. I said no. I didn't want her back on the vent for "might". If she ends up getting intabated in cath, we'll probably do one them, but well see. Her lungs as of today looked okay, so we don't want to disturb anything if they are healing.

She's also struggled with fevers, but I think it's b/c nurses think she's cold and cover her up... she's a little heater though and covers make her sweat. So I always rip them off when I get to the hospital and any "fever" she had goes away. :)

So all in all: today we seem to be okay. Prayer requests: Arden's healing. Elliot's pent up energy. Eric's cabin fever. My job... did we tell you? I quit Gymboree. I was supposed to be back at work this last week and there was just no having that. So Eric and I decided to step out on faith. And of course, we've continued to be taken care of financially! Our landlord even offered last months rent free and the next two months at 1/2 off! Plus, the jewelry business has been great. I'm looking at it as my full time job now, so with renewed gusto, I'm calling people, booking shows, talking about the business, and selling some fabulous pieces of jewelry! Interested in the jewelry, a show, the business?... let me know! :)

Thanks for your support - once again. I keep wanting to write a huge thank you note to everyone, but we've been SO blessed by SO many people, I'm terrified I'll forget someone. I'll suck it up and do it soon. Until then, thanks.

OH! HOW COULD I FORGET! Speaking of getting blessed... did I mention that Eric and I won a radio contest?!?! Seriously! Renee entered for us and we won! We are still in shock! We won a complete music library of Eric's favorite band, along with a bunch of other great things from the band including a personal word of encouragement and prayer from the lead singer of the band! Eric and I were in tears! So amazing! So encouraging! God is SO creative in how he loves us!

Quotes from Elliot

2010-05-18T23:27:00.000-07:00

First of all, I'd like to announce Arden's successful extabation! Arden once again teamed up with God and against all odds is impressing the doctors with her breathing! Can I get a Whoop! Whoop!

I just wanted to share a few comments from Elliot today. He is such a ray of sunshine (when he isn't be a toad!) that I thought I'd share the light!

Elliot: (Out of nowhere while we are driving) Mommie, I don't want to be nice.
Me: Why not?
Elliot: b/c I've been nice all year so I don't have to be nice anymore.
Me: Well, okay. But we still need to be nice. We should always be nice to people.
Elliot: No, all the weeks I was nice so I'm all done.

Elliot: I love you all the way to the future!

Me: Pick your shirt up, we don't leave our clothes in the middle of the floor.
Elliot: Well its dirty now b/c it's on the floor so I don't want to pick it up b/c it has germs now. You can get it Mommie so I don't get germs.

Elliot: Lord Jesus, thank you for God and for Jesus. And Jesus help me to listen and respect all the years. Amen

Elliot: Can I sit on sisters bed?
Me: Not yet buddy, there are still too many tubes. You will be able to really soon though.
Elliot: But I have to sit on the bed Mommie because sister loves me.

Eric: Are you excited to go to the baseball game?
Elliot: No, I already go to one of those.
Me: but you are going to see Kelly and Ethan there.
Elliot: But I already see them so I don't want to go.
Me: Well they will be wearing different clothes, and you are wearing different clothes. So this will be different.
Elliot: (LONG PAUSE while he blank face stares at me) Okay, then I'll go.

I love my Elliot Thomas! Just thought I'd share! :)

Last night and this morning

2010-05-18T08:22:00.001-07:00

I'm just going to copy and past from facebook so I can hurry up and get to the hospital:

10pm last night:

testing testing one two three... Arden is now on CPAP. The vent to breath for her is off and will only turn back on if she doesn't breath on her own. She is being tested over the next hour to see how she tollerates the work before tomorrow's possible extabation. Praying for her to do well! Go God Go! Go Arden Go!

midnight:

According to her nurse: "Arden did very good" Yeah! For a whole hour she was breathing on her own and kept all her numbers where they wanted them. She might do another test in the morning around 8 the nurse guessed. The Dr's tonight seemed wary about extabating tomorrow morning but the day shift seemed more confident.... We'll see what they say when they get there tomorrow and reevaluate. :)

This morning:

She's just about to finish her second test now and is still doing very good. Our nurse is going to take a few more blood gases to see how her levels are doing and Dr's are thinking they will extabate before 12. She is off the fentanyl drip so she will be more alert and has started withdrawal meds. Could today be the day?

Keep up the prayers! Thanks so much!

Are you kidding me?!

2010-05-17T14:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm listening to morning rounds today and they are summing where Arden is at and move on tot talking about the goals for the day and suddenly they talk about wanting to extabate her. Last we heard it would probably be sometime at the end of the week... and they are talking about weening her today and getting her extabated tomorrow morning! OMG! Seriously!? I'm so excited and kinda nervous and anxious and terrified at the same time. Getting extabated would be a huge step forward. Other steps forward are the drainage tubes that were removed today - one b/c it wasn't putting out anything and the other b/c the insertion site was, well, gross. :) So I'm praying that either the tube would have stopped draining today anyway or if there is still some fluid, the body reabsorbs it so they don't have to put in another drainage tube. I'm also praying for the drainage tube sites b/c they were all red and irritated and she still has one more tube in. So back to the breathing, she is being weened on her PEEP (basically the pressure support of the breaths) one every hour. She was at 8 today and they want her at 6 tonight so they can do a trial run of her breathing on her own around midnight. Our PEEP is around 5-6 so she is already at a low level, but the last time they tried all her numbers looked good but she just couldn't handle it. They are hoping with her sats better this time she will do better. Pray for a successful practice tonight and extabation tomorrow!

Reagan continues to hit bumps in the road. Not only was she diagnosed with H flu (not H1N1) a few days ago, she was diagnosed with another type of flu today. Check out http://reflectionsofreagan.blogspot.com/ for details. Her Daddy and Brother had to go back home today, so it's just her Mommie, Mimi, and PawPaw her with her. We know - a family split up is never fun. Be praying for each of them too please.

12 hours later

2010-05-15T11:12:00.001-07:00

in today's rounds I found out Arden didn't do well with last night's attempts to ween her form the ventilator. Her upper right lung flooded a bit so they are now thinking she'll need more time and might extabate middle of next week. Her right foot is warmer, so that means better profusion and her EKGs are looking ok. Elliot is having a rough morning though, I think he's reaching the end of this rope with RMH and the hospital. :(

She is so strong!

2010-05-14T23:05:00.000-07:00

Arden's surgery was moved until Thursday which gave her an extra day to recover from the cath and get more fluid out of her. She went in first thing in the morning on Thursday and did a great job. She stayed stable on the ventilator the entire time, and although they had an ECMO machine set up and ready for her (Dr's were REALLY worried about her) they never had to use it! Praise God! ECMO is NOT someplace we want to go! She got out of surgery and we were told it would be a while before they would think about extabation due to the health of her lungs. Dr. Hanley also commented that her heart looked great (all things considered) and that he thinks we need to be focusing on her lungs. They were not inflating and deflating with the ventilator as he would like. So although I am still praying for her heart, it is now doing more work than originally intended, we are all shifting our focus to her lungs. Dr. Wright said a pulminologist wasn't needed yet, that they would see how things settled out after surgery.

Well we are just over 24 hours out of surgery and she is excelling once again. They've already taken her off the NO and have reduced her oxygen to 40%. The machine is also only helping her with 14 breaths a minute and they are weening the pressure support tonight from 7 to 6 as well. The Fellow tonight said he thinks she might be on track to be extabated Sunday morning! What!!! We aren't holding onto any dates, but that is weeks faster than expected! Her lungs are still "wet" so we need them to dry out in prep for her to do all the breathing on her own. If they are too wet, they won't be able to inflate properly and they will flood and she will have to be reintebated. Dr's also noted that her EKG looks a bit different after the last surgery, so she is getting a new EKG every day to trend what is happening in her heart.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.! Elliot also got back today. He had a GREAT time with Yaya Shauna! He saw his first movie in the theater, panned for gold, played with their big puppy, ran and ran and ran, and ate lots of yummy food. :) Big thanks to Freddy and Nana for their support!

It's late, so I'm off to bed. Tonight while I was holding her hand, she squeezed it back. It was perfect. She's been off the paralyzing meds since last night so she's moved a bit and opens her eyes to look at you (I missed her eyes!), but to have her respond by grasping my hand when I moved was heart warming. Little by little she is coming back into her own. Soon, she's be smiling again. I can't wait!

Also, for those of you asking, I checked with Reagan's mom and she said it was fine if directed you to her blog. I've been writing about her mostly in emails b/c I didn't know if it was okay with her mom for me to post about her, but I've got the green light! She is a SWEET girl almost exactly Elliot's age that when through her fourth open heart surgery the day before Arden had her second. Elliot and Reagan had a great time playing with each other before she went in and she loves Arden. We have become close with their family and would love for you to partner with us in prayer over Miss Reagan as well. You can find details on her at: http://reflectionsofreagan.blogspot.com/

A prayer

2010-05-11T23:19:00.001-07:00

Lord, I know you are hearing a multitude of voices for our little girl, and I thank you for being an interactive God that hears and reacts to our prayers! Hear me now as I cry out for my daughter. You know better than any the inner workings of her body because you are the one that knit her together. I first want to thank you for being at the beginning with her and waiting for us at the end. We have peace in the end result of all this, but I have to confess that the middle part stinks. I hate watching my daughter lying on a hospital bed, spread out b/c she is sedated, cold b/c she has poor oxygen saturation, and eyes gooped up b/c she is paralyzed and can't make her own tears to keep her eyes moist. I hate watching a nurse give her more sedation on top of her continual drips b/c her blood pressure has gone up for some reason. I hate holding her hand and her not being able to squeeze it back. And I hate not seeing joy in her eyes and a smile on her face. I hate it. And yet I somehow KNOW, just like I've KNOWN everything else about this pregnancy and last few months, that this will turn out okay. Thank you for speaking so clearly to me and getting me to a place where I can hear you so clearly as well! Just today, as I suffered through my worry, doubt, and anxiety, you reminded me of the truths you've spoken over her life and the promises you've given us regarding Arden. Thank you! I needed that today. I'm so tired. I feel like I need the encouragement from those around us and following our journey... and yet sometimes I'm grateful for an empty waiting room - so thanks for being here with us. You just reminded me of Romans 4:20-21 which I happen to love in the Message version: "He [Abraham] didn't tiptoe around God's promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God, sure that God would make good on what he had said." Thank you! I just want to publicly declare that I am not going to waiver in my faith/belief or ask cautiously skeptical questions - I have already jumped in and I am ready for You! Ready for you to make good on the promises you've spoken over her life. So as Arden rests tonight, inhabit her body and make it ready for whatever it is you have for her tomorrow. I continually pray for healing over her heart and lungs, and wait in your timing. I shout praises to you and send this out as an accolade of your faithfulness. We love you and are trusting you with our pain over this whole situation. In Jesus' name. Let it be so!!!

Please join me in praying over Arden for healing. She usually does not recover very fast from surgery, and the doctors are barely giving her 24 hours before the next. In today's cath they really only found good numbers associated with her heart pressures. Her Drs say her lungs are sick and in a healthy child, the lungs would be able to recover with a little time, but in Arden, it is more tricky. As Renee posted and Melissa emailed and Mom texted, it is a vicious circle of the lungs not being healthy b/c of poor blood flow and there is poor blood flow b/c her O2 sats are down and her O2 sats are down b/c her lungs are not healthy. So during tomorrow's open heart, Dr. Hanley will be adding a gortex shunt from her aorta to her pulmonary artery to increase the blood flow to the lungs. This will initially improve her O2 sats, but adding flow to sick lungs will actually increase the lungs recovery time. However this is the only step we have from here. Best case, recovery could be a few weeks. Worst case, a few months. Dr said we weren't looking at a heart transplant yet; we will have to see how Arden reacts to the surgery tomorrow before we know if that is in our future. She is continuing to lose her PIVs and only has one access now. I'm sure they'll put in more before surgery tomorrow, so pray for her veins to be open and primed for the needed PIVs or a possible PICC. So far we've only had problem with her O2 sats, we are praying we continue to not have problems with her heart rate or her blood pressure. Today she massively impressed the doctors with how well she did in the cath considering all her problems before (she actually came out of the cath with higher O2 sats then she did going in!), so we are praying the same over tomorrows planned surgery and her subsequent recovery.

As for Elliot: He had an appointment with the Child Life Specialist today and did great. She sat down with some medical dolls and equipment to roll play with Elliot about what was happening with Arden and he told her that his sister had surgery on her heart and placed the sensors in the right place, the O2 probe in the right place, some gauze and tape over her chest where her incision is, and a med line in her foot and hand. I was amazed as how much he knew with just the few times he's been into see her. He then proceeded to give LOTS of medicine through syringes through her mouth like we do at RMH. He's so smart and I was so blessed to watch him care for this doll. He tried a few times to drop the baby on purpose but we let him know he had to be gentle with her just like sister, so he picked her up (football style) and started to walk away. When I asked where he was going he said he was taking her home so she didn't have to be here anymore. I followed him a bit to realize he really wanted to walk down to the car and leave with the doll. He's just so sweet! The rest of the day Yaya Delia played with Elliot, Yaya Susan has him over night, and Yaya Shauna is taking him for the next few days. Thank you God for the Yayas!

As for me, I am still rather sick to my stomach and not hungry. I did eat a bit more tonight though - thanks Williams/Davis family! I am now off to bed to try and rest up for the days ahead. Eric is already asleep for his drive out to Sonora tomorrow. Forgive me if I don't pick up the phone or return texts or emails or whatnot. I can only go through the story so many times. But KNOW that with each voice mail and email and text and fb post that I get, I am encouraged by your words and humbled by your love. Thank you for being part of our community and sharing this burden with us. We love EACH of you.

How about some pictures!

2010-05-10T15:49:00.001-07:00

Me trying to get a picture in the mirror. :)

Elliot's "crazy hair" after a shower :)

Arden after her bath - she LOVES the water!

Us getting ready to go eat. Don't mind the messy room :)

This is Arden the day of surgery at 5:45am! She is just so full of smiles!

Sleeping with Daddy before the Glenn

Meds right after surgery

Arden 24 hours out of surgery

Elliot at Tylor's little league game (gotta keep life going for him!)

I think it's just a bit too big. :) Daddy loved that he was so excited about baseball!

Elliot painting his hands for mother's day crafts at RMH

This is Elliot saying "ta-da!" at pouring all the dirt in the pot that overflowed a lot as you can see on the volunteer's face.

Pretty's from Elliot for mother's day

Oscillator and NO she is on after she coded

Arden as of 5/10, sedated, paralyzed, on lots of meds and on the oscillator. Poor girl!

My aunt Julie took us out to dinner for mother's day. So fun and yummy! thanks!

I will post more pictures as time passes, but I wanted to make sure to get SOME out there. Thanks for the prayers and support once again!

ARden is still critical

2010-05-10T12:03:00.000-07:00

Although Arden's sats are still in the 80s and 70s, her sats in her head are in the 30s and she's desated a few times as well. Dr's aren't sure what is going. They say that she doesn't like anything that they are doing and probably just wants to go home. :) Well Amen sister, but we have to get you stable and healthy first! She is still on the oscillator and they need to get her off this. There is lots of talk on sending her to the cath lab to really look at the Glenn but there are also a lot of concerns about this as well. She is not yet stable (Dr said the majority of the patients that go to cath are sick and that is the purpose of the cath so although this is scary for us as parents, this is something as doctors they do all the time), in order to go to cath she has to be breathing ok on the ventilator for a few hours which means they have to ween her off the oscillator quicker than normal, she also was positive on her fluids yesterday instead of being negative like planned. This means she is taking in/on more fluids that she is draining/peeing out. So they've moved her to an aggressive diuretic schedule with a drip of lasix, a bolus of diurell every 6 hours and a one time dose of their "last resort" med. They also can't find the balance she needs of O2 and cO2. She does better when she is a bit acidosis (higher cO2) but if she gets too high, she starts to lose the desire to breath in. So please pray for a balance here, for her to lose fluid like crazy, and for her little body and will to hold everything together. Again I find myself in a strange place of trust and worry combined. My faith is strong, but my flesh is weak. Pray for us as well. Today a child life specialist will be stopping by to make an appointment to meet with Elliot to talk with him about everything going on with his sister. Prayer for his understanding and character is welcome as well. Thanks so much! Heading back to see my girl so Eric can be will Elliot and he can hopefully nap.

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

For Mother's Day I asked Arden to give me a drama-free day. She did a great job today. They took more chest x-rays (I swear that girl is going to be glowing by the time she is five) and said her lung looks much better! One of the cardiology fellows even did a little dance when he walked in and saw her sats today. I love that the doctors and nurses are so dedicated here that they dance when a patient does well. He sats today were in the 70s and 80s all day long. She is on an oscillator which has her breathing at over 100 breaths a minute, but this not only super oxygenates her lungs, it helps shake any junk in her lungs loose to be suctioned out too. They usually don't use this on Glenn babies, but Arden seems to excel with it. They are hoping to ween her from, transfer her back to the ventilator and then extabate... the timing on this is unknown though. Her last x-ray came back today saying that the upper right side of her lung is still not as open as they would like, so they will keep her on the oscillator until they are happy with the images. I am praying for her little body to recover as quickly as possible so she can get off the machines and meds!

Elliot gave me some wonderful crafts made at the RMH. A flower pot that he would paint a spot of color and then cover it with a sticker, some hand prints - one of which he wanted to be dirty so he put dirt in the paint, and a card with an abstract painting on the front. :) Us mom's swoon at things like this! :) So silly. I'll post some pictures tomorrow.

All in all, I think my mother's day was okay. Spent time with each of my children, ate BBQ at RMH, had a fun dinner with family (thanks Julie!), folded some laundry, cleaned poop off the floor, unclogged a toilet by reaching my hand in the bowl to pull out the paper towels Elliot put down there when he tried to clean the poop himself, and watched the Incredibles. I could think of lots of things that could have made today better, like Arden being out of the hospital, our family being at home, or spending time with friends playing games... but given the circumstances, I think today was pretty good. I love my family. Happy mother's day everyone!

Today was awful

2010-05-08T23:04:00.000-07:00

Arden is back. Her O2 sats dropped to 9 today! It was awful. 2 hours of watching drs help keep her alive. Her upper right lung had collapesed and the rest was blocked with mucas. The got a lot of junk out of her lungs and her sats are now in the 80s! Praise the Lord! Thanks for the prayers! Keep them up, we've got a long way to go. Will write more after I get some sleep.

Where we sit

2010-05-08T10:25:00.001-07:00

Arden's surgery went well. Before surgery Dr's knew of a leak on the right side of the heart between the atrium and the ventricle, but they said this usually repairs itself after the Glenn is put in place b/c the right side of the heart will no longer being doing all the work and is no longer "stretched out". They said they would watch the valve leek over the next few weeks to see if it heals on it's own or if they need to go repair it.

She came out of the OR on Thursday afternoon with her O2 saturation's in the 70's. Dr's said her levels until her next surgery (around the age of 3-5) will sit around the mid to high 70s. However, over the course of the last 24hrs, her O2 sats have sat at 58. She's been peeking around 61 but dips into the low 40s every few hours. Last night Dr's thought this was because her CO2 levels were too low of all things. They said b/c she is breathing over the ventilator that she is exhaling all her CO2 and her brain is telling her body that it doesn't need to oxygenate her blood that much since the body is so low on CO2. They allowed her CO2 levels to rise which also helped her O2 levels, but they can't find the "sweet spot" where her CO2 levels aren't too high or her O2 levels aren't too low. They aren't sure what to do.

Dr's tried extabating her two nights ago with no success, they believe due to the fluid she is carrying. So they started a lasix drip yesterday and added another diuretic every 12 hours to try and drain the excess fluid. Once her body doesn't have to fight against the weight of this fluid, they are hoping to try and extabate again. The nature of the Glenn, her new circulatory system, does not lend itself well to being on the ventilator, so they want her off of it asap.

Today, when we spoke with her team, they said there was a small effusion on her right side, but it was too small to try and remove it with a needle - they don't want to poke the lungs. So they are hoping the extra diuretics remove this. They are talking about doing another Cath to see if they are missing something if some answers don't show up today. She's not one to bounce back well after a procedure, so the thought of her going in for another one before she's stabilized from the last is painful.

She still has yet to eat since 6 hrs before her surgery, but I suppose since they are trying to keep her sedated, she doesn't know the difference. Dr's are struggling keeping her sedated as well b/c they give all they can and she still responds to stimulus through it. Due to her response, they keep paralyzing her so she can't respond. Dr's want her to let the ventilator do the breathing instead of her breathing 3 times in between each assisted breath, they want her to drop the extra fluid, raise her oxygen levels, keep her CO2 levels safe, have the leak close on it's own, and to get her off the ventilator asap.

Please be praying for all of the above, for Eric's and my health, for Elliot's understanding, and for our outside lives (bills, jobs, insurance, school, deadlines, etc) to be taken care of in our "spare time" without added stress. Thank you so much!

Lets change plans again:

2010-05-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Dr. Hanley's office called just now to say they have an opening TOMORROW so they are changing her surgery date again. We are headed into the hospital now for her blood work, then to Eric's cousin's so they can have Elliot tonight, and then to the hospital at 6 am tomorrow! Pray pray pray!!!

A hard conversation

2010-05-04T22:43:00.000-07:00

To be totally honest, Eric and I have never really talked with Elliot about death. So tonight when he was talking about dying and killing (some big kids in the game room were playing a war game) we sat down and talked about what dying meant. I started by asking if he knew what dying and killing was and he said that Jesus says not to kill. I smiled (and almost laughed) that that was his first response and that he knew enough to connect the dots between what the boys were saying today and what he's heard about the 10 commandments. And so started a conversation about the RMH house and how every family here has someone like sister. Someone who is not totally healthy and who has to see the doctors to help them get better. We talked about how we always hope and pray that surgeries go well but sometimes they don't. Sometimes things go wrong and and instead of coming home from the hospital to be with their families, they go to be with God instead. He wanted to know if we could see people with God and I had to say no. I let him know that when people get to be with Jesus that they are happy b/c time with Him is always good, but the families that are still here are sad b/c they don't get to be with their loved one. It was so hard to explain. I felt like I was walking this terrible line not wanting Elliot to be scared of doctors or hospitals or even God.

The RMH has somewhat of a family atmosphere b/c we all KNOW what each other are going through. We've all had close calls, hard times, difficult surgeries, celebrations in hospital gowns, thousands of pounds of cafeteria food, and more. We know when other kids are going though various procedures and support the parents through talking, hugging, praying, keeping our distance, visiting, etc. RMH recently had a family who lost a little girl. It was awful. You could feel the difference in the house. As we mourned with the family, I think we all secretly prayed that we would never know how that actually felt.

Elliot and I spoke then too, but it was more about the family than the little girl b/c he'd never met her since she'd always been in the hospital. Now we have many families that Elliot knows and are having surgeries and he is asking about them. Although we've talked about Arden's surgery coming up, he's starting to connect this with other people he knows. Elliot prayed tonight for a sweet little girl named Reagan Grace that is going for her heart surgery tomorrow. He prayed for her to be strong and for her mommie not to be sad. Amazing what he understands! We'd love for you to join us in prayer for Reagan and her family tonight and all day tomorrow. She is 3, just like Elliot, and was born with a congenital heart defect known as Tetralogy of Fallot with Pulmonary Atresia and MAPCA's. She also has DiGeorge Syndrome which affects her immune system, her feeding, her walking, and her speech. Elliot loves her! It's so fun to watch the two of them together! She also loves Arden. It's so sweet to hear her little voice call out to see baby Arden and hear her voice get so much bigger as she plays in the play house with Elliot.

So all in all, tonight's conversations were good, but I think they wore me out. Please pray for Eric and I as we maneuver through all this with Elliot, pray for Elliot's understanding and the person this is shaping him to be, pray for Arden as she is getting more fussy (something to be expected as she gets closer to needing her surgery) and for her surgery coming up. And pray for Reagan as she goes through her 4th open heart surgery tomorrow at 7am. We are praying for healing for both Arden and Reagan - if your faith can take you there, we'd love for you to join us in this powerful request. Thanks for, well, everything. We'll keep you posted on Reagan tomorrow and on Arden's surgery this Friday and on Elliot's sweet understanding of it all.

BIG CHANGE

2010-03-08T15:32:00.000-08:00

Arden's cath lab is today. Could be as early as 5pm tonight. Eric is keeping me updated. This sucks.

Cath Lab

2010-03-08T12:31:00.000-08:00

Arden's doctors decided at morning rounds today that they are scheduling her cath lab for friday morning. She didn't gain any weight from yesterday so they are just being cautious and scheduling the lab now since a decline in weight gain is a warning sign of needing the next surgery. They are hoping she isn't emergantly taken to the lab and that she will gain some weight today so she makes it to Friday. In case the cath doesn't work or shows that they can't wait, her Glenn might be as early as next week - a month before they wanted it. Elliot and I will be traveling down to Arden this week to be there for Friday and through the weekend. Thankfully the H1N1 rule stipulating children under the age of 16 are not allowed in the hospital has been lifted so Elliot will get to come into Arden's room and be with her!

Again, thank you for your prayers and support. We are trying to come up with something that we can send to all of you as a mass thank you note since we've been overwhelmed with provisions - whether they were emotional, physical, or spiritual - because we want you ALL to know how appreciative we are. Please be patient with the timing of our thanks and forgiving of our lack of response to your emails/letters/cards/texts

/checks/cash/care packages/gift cards/messages/visits/prayers/clothes/food/presents/hugs/etc... we've received them all and are so grateful and humbled by your love. We promise we'll get something out there. For now, please know you've brought smiles, warm fuzzies, comfort, and strength to us. Thank you.

Things are not getting better

2010-03-06T18:42:00.001-08:00

We had been told that Doctor's wanted Arden to stay close to the hospital because the nature of her current circulatory system is that she will just get more "blue". Since it took SO long for us to get down to the Bay last time they don't feel safe letting Arden go home. So Eric and I arranged for him to stay at the RMH with Arden and for me to head back to Redding with Elliot and to continue working so as to keep my position there. So Eric drove me back to Redding this morning after I held and kissed Arden as much as I could before 8am. We got here and packed up what Eric and Arden will need at the RMH and then drove to my mom's to pick up Elliot. He was THRILLED to see us! We played baseball with him for about an hour and then Eric had to take off back down to the Bay to be with Arden.

When Elliot and I were packing up from Tutu's house, the hospital called me. Yesterday she was moved from CVICU (cardiovascular intensive care unit) to 3 West (an intermediate care unit). Well after we left, her sats (oxygen saturation levels) went back down and they had to give her more oxygen. Her team of doctors decided that it was better if she be moved back down to CVICU for closer monitoring. When her cardiologist called she said that right now they were just watching her but that she might be outgrowing her conduit. She said that Arden is most likely headed towards a cath lab in which they will look at her conduit and probably place a metallic stint in it to keep it open. This will hopefully allow her Glen (her next surgery) to not be moved up and stay in April. Right now her lungs are not mature enough to handle the Glen. That is why her surgery date was set for when she was about 3 1/3 months old. Historically babies do the best after the Glen when they are 3-5 months old. Arden turned 2 months today.

My heart breaks that I'm not there with her. I felt literally nauseous after I got off the phone with the Doctor. But Eric is almost there now to be with her. Her doctor told me on the phone that now that she is back in the CVICU, she doesn't think she will be discharged anytime soon. She said not to hold her to it, but that she'll probably be in the hospital for about a month. So Elliot and I are holding up here waiting to hear more. I work Sunday -Wednesday and the I have the rest of the week off and Elliot and I will probably drive down. My boss has been AMAZING and is still working with me on my schedules so I can be in the Bay as much a possible.

Right now we need to pray for Arden. Pray that her heart is healthy and can get oxygenated blood to the rest of her body efficiently. Pray that if she needs to go to the cath lab, it wouldn't be under emergent circumstances and that it would be at least weeks from now. Pray that her lungs mature and she won't have to have her Glen until they are more than ready for it. Pray that her veins don't clot off at her IV site so she doesn't have to keep getting poked. Pray for her team of doctors as they monitor her and make decisions about her health and future surgeries. Pray that she knows Eric is there and that she doesn't feel alone and that I stop crying when I think about not being there. We know she will be okay, but during these times, it is hard to smile. We SO appreciate all of your prayer and support. Giving Eric and/or I a call sometime with some encouragement would be amazing too.

Again, we'll let you know more when we do.
Grace,
Pearcia and family

Praying for Arden

2010-03-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

They think she might be outgrowing the conduit & they don't want to release her. She's too young/small for the next surgery so they aren't sure what they are going to do except to keep her here to monitor her. Last we heard they were going to talk to her surgeon and her cardiologist for suggestions. Please pray with us.

Long time coming

2010-03-03T14:22:00.001-08:00

In the last month we've had our share of ups and downs: Arden has gained more weight than the doctor's expected, and is eating like a pro. Although she went home with a feeding tube, we were able to take it out about a week after we got home. We went to the emergency room the day after we got home b/c our home O2 monitor showed her oxygen levels were too low, but when we got to the ER, her levels were fine - it turned out to be our monitor. She can already hold her head up and look around the room, she's got the most beautiful big eyes that just take everything in. We had to call 911 once (2/25 above) but she ended up working things out on her own and the med team just checked her out at the house and left. Elliot LOVES his sister and is quite protective of her. He always wants to hold her and touch her face - he's even changed her diaper a few times times! He's a great big brother! Most recently things took a turn for the scary. I'm writing you this from Stanford b/c yesterday her feet were blue and her oxygen levels were in the 60s and 50s (they are supposed to be between 75-85). When we got to our local emergency room we spent a lot of time teaching the doctors and nurses about Arden and letting them know is was OK for her O2 levels to be in the 70s - if we could get them there. Thankfully, a friend of ours works in the ER and she came over and got us a private room, gave me some food, and just believed us when we said something was wrong. Thank God for Angie! Through the course of the afternoon, Stanford was contacted and they felt strongly enough that things weren't right with Arden that they sent a team up to us to fly us back down to them. Eric drove down as soon as we heard this and I flew with Arden, arriving at Stanford after 1am this morning. We stayed at a motel and are now back at her bedside with surgical coats, masks and gloves until they rule out an air-born viral infection. They've taken a chest x-ray and an echo and we are waiting to hear the results. Her blood cultures for infection won't be back until tomorrow morning. She's still being given oxygen. I'm praying for answers. Having something this wrong happen while we are so far away and not knowing why isn't okay. Tentatively they said they are hoping she will be discharged in 72 hours. Since I came by fixed wing plane, I'm missing work tomorrow. I just went back last week. I'm praying they don't fire me for having such an unpredictable life. We planned on Eric traveling with Arden for her appts down here so I could continue to work, but obviously blue feet and the need for a flight took precedent. Sorry Laurie. We appreciate your prayers. We already had a weather free flight down here and got into the RMH tonight so we don't have to pay for another night at a motel - prayer works! Thanks! We'll write more when we know more.
Pearcia and Eric

We're up... and we're down

2010-02-04T00:07:00.000-08:00

All day I've been excited about writing this update. So many great things happened for Arden. She moved from her intensive care unit to an intermediate care unit (3 West). Her arterial line was taken out and she got off all her IV meds, she got her first wagon ride as she traveled up from the 2nd floor to the 3rd, she drank her entire bottle (42mL or 1.5oz) and kept it all down, the physical therapist worked with her to let us hold her on her tummy with her head on our shoulder! It WAS a good day for Arden. Then Eric went in to feed her her 9pm bottle and thought she felt warm. Her last temp was a bit high (37.4c) but could be from all the movement/changes she went through today. When they took her temp again she was 38c which is about 101f. Not good. The nurse had fed her before Eric got there (he was bummed) and said she only took 12mL but we don't know if that is b/c she has a temp or b/c the nurse didn't try to get her to drink more like we do. By the time Eric left, the doctor had come in and examined Arden. She gave her Motrin b/c her heart and respiratory rate were elevated, and ordered a blood draw and urine sample for analysis and culture. Eric said during the whole time Arden was fairly content - I guess she's been through worse. We just called for an update and her nurse said the Motrin dropped the heart and respiratory rate like they wanted and it also dropped her temp. Praise God! The immediate blood work came back and all her blood levels looked normal so the doctor decided to put a hold on the antibiotics. They were just about to draw the urine sample when we called. Cultures obviously take a couple days to see if anything grows. Doctor said there wasn't anything alarming at this point and she will stay on the intermediate care floor. Eric and I will be at the hospital all day tomorrow since he doesn't have to work. I'll update more when I can. I know you are, but we ask anyway for your continued prayer over her health and healing. Thank you.

I'll try to visit here more - sorry!

2010-01-14T16:44:00.000-08:00

Wow, I never realized how much I've turned into a facebook user until I saw that the last thing here was that I was in labor. Huh. Sorry.
So Arden was born 1/6/10 at 4:03 through natural childbirth. She did amazing! The OB made sure I had a chance to hear her cry and hold her hands before the drs swept her away. She didn't need to go to the cath lab like they thought she might, and was doing so well they moved her surgery date for her first open heart surgery to the 8th. So at two days old she had her first surgery and did amazing. They kept her chest open to allow for post-surgical swelling and were able to close her chest yesterday, the 13th. The doctors are now doing their best to stablize her. Her heart rate should be below 170 ideally, and she started on the Billy light for her Jaundice last night. That, with the following update, should get you up to speed:

Thanks for all the prayer. Arden's heart rate is currently in the low 180s to the high/mid 170s. She still has a slight fever, which is odd b/c she doesn't feel warm at all. But that is due to her body not being that great at getting blood where it needs to go yet. Dr. said that despite this hiccup, they still think they will start weening her off the respirator tonight or tomorrow since her blood pressure is good as are her lungs. She's lost all of her IVs, not b/c they aren't needed but b/c they stopped working. So they are currently in the process of giving Arden a PICC line. This is basically an IV that that can last for months, if needed. they are going in through a vein in the leg and the line will go through the vein up close to the heart. Pray this works b/c if it doesn't, they are running out of places to poke her for an IV... poor thing! She is still under the Billy light for her Jaundice and will measure her levels after the PICC line is in. She is going through SO much!
Poor Elliot was put down for a nap today and kept getting into trouble. Then around 2:30 the fire alarm went off so any chance for a nap was thrown out the window as Eric scooped him up and ran down three flights of stairs only to be told it was a false alarm when he got to the bottom. When I called at 3:15 he was still awake talking in bed. By the time I got back to the RMH at 4, he was asleep. We've decided to just let him sleep. We know he needs it... oops, it's 4:30, sounds like he's waking up. Oh well. If he isn't perhaps I can steal a quick nap. That would be AMAZING!
Eric says he has a headache. We are hoping it's just because of the events circling us right now and he isn't getting sick. We don't know what would happen if one or both of us got sick! Not only would the sick one not be able to see Arden, but we'd probably be asked to leave the RMH for the health of others. Good grief!
I'm exhausted. I'll be headed back to the hospital tonight after dinner though so Arden won't be alone. Also, my tooth that lost a filling months ago is killing me. any cold, even my finger touching the tooth if my hands are cold, feels awful. Pray for, I don't know, something. I feel like I am asking for the same prayer over and over again, but we so appreciate the support! This email might sound a bit defeated, but we aren't. We know we worship a mighty God who is sitting at the end of all this smiling at our growth. This is what drives us through the hard times. when we find ourselves in the muck, we do our best to just look around and find Jesus, because we know He is there with us. He is our strength and our courage. Today I'm asking him to be my energy. :) Much love to you all up there. We hope to join you soon.

here we go

2010-01-06T13:15:00.000-08:00

just a quick note to say they broke my water and we are waiting for arden to come. if she's not here by 4, they'll do a c-section. pray pray pray for her to come quickly, for miracles, for health, and for our doctors. thanks!

time from home

2009-12-27T11:00:00.000-08:00

So life in the Bay has been okay. First of all, we are SO glad we are here and not in Sac at UCD b/c here we have family. The Marik's have been a huge blessing to us, we got to see a bunch of Yaya's at Susan's last night, and being the holiday season, families are traveling from home to home so we get to catch up with other's we haven't seen in a while too. We would be so lonely and bored in Sac! The hard part about the Bay is how far away it is from Redding. We miss our Stirring family up there, not to mention Elliot wanting to see his grandparents all the time.

He's doing pretty good, but he doesn't like being away from home. In as much as we can't get out of the door fast enough for him when we are headed over for him to play with Ethan and Tyler, he hates coming back to the RMH. We will say that we are going "home" for the night, and when we get in the room and he is lying in his pack'n'play he says he isn't home and he wants to go home and not go night night here. It breaks my heart. Last night, on our way back from Susan's, he asked if we were going home or to the "Donald" house. We said the Donald house and he sighed heavily in the back seat and asked why we couldn't go home. We let him know that Mommie and baby sister Arden need to be close to the doctors that are here and that after she is born and the doctor's say it's okay, we'll go home again. He sighs again and my heart breaks a bit more. He's such a trooper and definitely finds joy everyday, but we can tell that it is taking a toll on him. Poor guy.

Eric and I are okay. We seem to be on edge more here. Elliot's behavior isn't the best lately which we assume has to do with the above (and we're told with the fact that he will be three in two months), but it makes Eric really frustrated. There isn't much privacy here, so any disciplining or fighting we do is for people to hear/watch and that causes me stress too. The RMH is great and has so much to offer, but b/c of who they are offering their services to, they have a lot of rules which are taking some time for us to adjust to as well. No food or drink in the rooms (or outside the kitchen area) is a hard one for me b/c I'm suppose to eat every two hours. So I either stick with the nuts in my purse (okayed by the night super when we checked in) or I travel from the 3rd floor to the 1st floor to stand my our mini fridge and eat a stick of string cheese. We can't leave Elliot unattended - which seemed like a "duh" rule, but the first time we put him down for a nap, made sure he was asleep and then headed down stairs to check out the house, eat something, whatever, we were questioned as to where he was. We said he was upstairs sleeping and we were told that it was not okay that we were not with him yet alone on another floor. So now we sit in the 3rd floor family room for a few hours while he sleeps, and take turns going down stairs to eat or whatnot. Today Eric discovered that the key they gave us to get in and out of our room and the outside doors does not work on all the doors. So when he took Elliot to play on the play structure, he was stuck outside until someone walked by and let them in. When he asked the front desk about it, they said that was just how it worked.

Arden is doing good. She's still baking. We are told that she will be delivered by c-section now. I think my pre-term labor scare has pushed the doctors to wanting a more predictable delivery. So unless we are told otherwise tomorrow at my OB appt, Arden Jane will be born on January 19th. It's weird KNOWING the date of her birthday. I guess I knew Elliot's too since he was induced a day before he was due, but this seems different. Thanks to all my girlfriends who have had c-sections and helped me know I can do it too! Arden has an ultrasound, a stress test, and an amniotic fluid level test tomorrow and I have an OB and an appt with the diabetic counselor. Any new information, we will pass on.

Back on Online

2009-12-18T20:35:00.001-08:00

Since I left for the Bay Area, a lot has happened. Now that I'm finally back to myself again, I thought I'd update you all on what happened. I know you've received updates from Eric, Melissa, Juliette, and Renee, and that is good, because to be honest, I don't remember much about the time I was in the hospital.

I was admitted Sunday morning for dehydration and malnutrition. Although, I was eating, my body wasn't processing anything I was eating and after so long, my body just started rejecting the food I was eating. The combination of these (plus a bit of the stomach flu from Elliot probably) sent me into early labor. Praise the Lord we were down in the Bay anyway so I could be admitted to Stanford. They gave me Magnesium Sulfate to calm my muscles and stop the labor. It worked, but man was it awful! I felt like the Sun was inside my body I was so hot. Apparently I was quite out of it as well and looked fairly close to death. Glad to be off the drugs. I was finally released from the hospital Thursday afternoon and have been lying low ever since.

I get to stay at my cousin's house with his family which has proven to be pure entertainment. Eric will show up tomorrow with Elliot (I miss my boys so much!) and we will be at this house for one more night. Then on Sunday we'll be able to get into the RMH, which is great... although when I stopped by today for a quick tour to see what Eric needs to bring and what he needs to leave behind, I was told our housing arrangements were still up in the air a bit. Get this: so we will be staying in the weekend manager's room (room for one person) which is open from Sunday to Friday. They said that if there isn't a place for us to move to by Friday, we will actually have to check out of the RHM and go on the wait list again. He said that when they do that, they obviously don't want to have to check someone out, so we become top priority... but I'm not sure how that matters since no matter everyone is waiting on a doctor to say someone can go home. We decided to go ahead with it b/c it would be a cat-free place for Eric at the very least. It wasn't until I got back to my cousin's that he looked at me and asked: "So if they don't have a place for you they will be kicking you out on Christmas?" Yeah, didn't think about that. So this year for Christmas, we are asking Santa for a room that we can STAY in (and not be kicked out) and will hold all of us. Good grief Charlie Brown!

For now, Arden and I are doing good. My weight is back in the 120's and my blood sugars seems to be more than in control. Tonight I had spaghetti and meat sauce with green beans and I tested at only 107! I'm drinking eggnog now to celebrate. :) Thanks so much to EVERYONE who has supported us through this, we continually have need, but are continually given more than we could even ask for. We are blessed to say the least. As more happens (hopefully nothing too eventful) I will keep you updated.

Please keep praying for us. Eric is finally done with school but still battling with one of his teachers over his grade. He will start his job at my cousin's pizza place at some point once he gets down here and continue to be amazing at supporting his family. Please pray for his stress levels, a place for him to vent if needed, safety on the job as he drives around, and continued support from his friends while we are away. Pray for my health: sugar levels, nutrition, weight, sleep, stress, and anything else that pops in your mind! Elliot has been doing great with his support team up in Redding. Pray for him as he transitions to a new "home", and as my appointments increase that he will still feel the attention and love he needs. As for Miss Arden, we need to be praying that she stays put! None of this early labor nonsense! Continued prayer for her heart as always. The two holes they found in her heart that she had made to alleviate some pressure are getting smaller so that points to more immediate surgery after birth instead of letting her adjust to life out of the womb for a a day or few. The doctor's are saying that I will for sure have a c-section now for predictability sake, and until then, I'll have weekly OB apts and Arden will have weekly echo's to follow her heart's progress. Our next apts are this Monday. If I find out more then, I'll let you know. Thanks once again!

more prayers

2009-11-24T16:44:00.000-08:00

I was putting Elliot down for his nap the other day and this is what happened:
Me groaning when I get up off his bed
Elliot: mom, you're belly hurts now?
Me: no sweetie, its my whole body.
Elliot: oh, you feel better soon?
Me: well I'll feel better if you pray for my body.
Elliot: okay mom. night.
Me: sweet dreams.
I start to walk downstairs and hear elliot talking so I pause to see if he is talk to me and hear:
Elliot: Lord Jesus, i pray my moms body feel better and my moms body not hurt anymore. Amen.

It was so sweet I started to cry. He's only ever prayed before meals and sleeping times, never in response to a request. And you know what, I was able to lay down and take a nap while he napped that day. :)

1st OB at UCD

2009-11-09T12:05:00.001-08:00

Okay, so here is the latest update. We went down to UCD Thursday for my first OB. We left early so we could tour the Ronald McDonald House and the Kiwanas House before my appt. They both offered about the same things, but the RMH was half the price (if there was a price at all). That could have settled our decision right then and there, but the KH would allow us to stay there the week before I'm induced since the doctors want me local just in case I go into labor on my own. RMH can't do this because they are a children's organization. I think we are still leaning towards the RMH though because their bedrooms were bigger and would allow for family and friends to stay a night or two on the futons in the room where as the KH had very small bedrooms.

After a quick trip to IKEA, we went to my OB appt where we met a student, a resident, and the big head honcho dr. they each asked their own questions, we heard Arden's heart again (means something so different now that we know what her heart looks like), and spoke with them about more testing. Apparently some of the tests done up here weren't done correctly or they still don't have the results. So they are waiting on Mercy to get all the results to them so they need to know what tests I need to redo and what they can use. They also said that my lightheadedness could be normal in pregnancy... that some woman do pass out (this has only happened twice), but it is usually associated with other health issues with the mom. They are scheduling some testing for me as well.

I also heard back from Arden's cardiologist and she is referring me to Standford so another team can look at the heart so the UCD team isn't the only one looking at the results. I've contacted Stanford and they are in the process of getting my files copied and faxed to them, and coordinating a time for me to come down. Once they have their own echos, all the teams working with us will look at all the results and decide where the best place will be for Arden to be born. We'll let you know more when we do.

One more thing, I just got a call from UCD and they finally got my 3 hour glucose test results and it turns out I'm a Gestational Diabetic again. Oh well. I had a few bites of cheesecake yesterday just incase. Guess that will be it for me. Please keep praying for health all around, for our finances as we are adding more trips to UCD and now to Stanford, and for our marriage. Eric and I have grown closer to each other through this and we want to make sure we are praying against any attacks that could come and try to get us at each other's throats. Thanks again to you all.

Arden's 2nd Echocardiograph

2009-11-07T00:27:00.000-08:00

Eric and I took this trip solo. We got in an hour late b/c they were behind schedule, but we got to watch some families that were there with their kids... somehow that was encouraging. We went back into the echo room where the same tech did all the imaging and Dr. Bhat came in as well to talk with us and oversee the captured images. We were VERY impressed with her again. She came in and started talking to me and then remembered Eric's hearing and apologized, looked at him, repeated what she said and asked if he could hear her and see her in the dim lighting. She then made sure that she spoke up and faced him. When it was time to do the "UCD talk to the med student" thing, she explained to both of us that she was going to switch from bedside talk to medical talk and if we needed to, we could interrupt her and the student, but would probably be mumbling and was that okay with Eric. He said fine and we smiled at each other. Such different treatment than Mercy.

Dr. Bhat explained that in her experience there was a loose 30/30/30 rule. 30% of babies will go downhill, 30% will stay the same, and 30% will improve... we didn't talk about the last 10%. After looking at the images, she said that Arden's heart looked about the same as it did last month so she felt we were in the 30% that would remain the same. This means that I'll hopefully be able to carry Arden to term and the future procedures will be able to be planned a bit more instead of reacting to an emergency situation. Dr. Bhat said that the only difference really was the pressure building on the left side of the heart, but that the heart had created two extra holes in the atrium septum to help release some of that pressure and that this was both unexpected and good! So PTL for that.

After our echo, we met with the pediatric heart surgeon that would be working on Arden's heart. He told us what we might expect after Arden is born but that we wouldn't know for sure until she was actually born. He talked about using a bypass machine that would breath for Arden along with pumping her heart so they could watch the pressure on the left side of the heart after she was born and go into surgery with more information. It was hard to hear that she might be on a machine, but that it was to give everyone more time: doctors to gather information, Arden to grow/develop more, etc. Again, we won't know if this is needed until after she is born. One uncomfortable moment was when he said that UCD would not be equipped to deliver the baby the first week in January due to staffing problems. If I naturally go into labor during this time, I will be forced to deliver at UCSF or Stanford. We asked if we should just transfer our care down to Stanford (our choice of the two) now and they said it was our choice. Although me going into labor 2-3 weeks early probably won't happen due to my history of having to be induced with Elliot, we didn't want to walk into a hospital without them knowing who we were. So Dr. Bhat said she would share all of our information with the dr. at Stanford in her position so if the situation arises, they would know who and what they were dealing with. This made us much more comfortable!

After the appts and meetings were over, Dr. Bhat said she had also scheduled a tour of the NICU for us if we had the time! Of course we did! So we drove over to the main hospital (a dry run for January), found the maternity parking, and went to the NICU. They were great. The security, the cleanliness, the personnel. All of it was above our expectations. The hardest part of the tour was actually walking into the rooms. We thought we'd just be shown the outside of the rooms b/c we weren't parents of the children, but we were cleared by those inside before we walked in, and we were hit with a serious taste of reality. Seeing the babies with tubes, and bandages, and breathing machines was really hard for both of us. Thinking of your child in that condition and seeing what it will look like were two different things for us that suddenly were crashing together. We cried. Well I did, Eric teared up and then gave me a big hug which seemed to shut off his tears and make mine fall harder. How does that work? While on the tour we were also able to see Labor and Delivery (huge rooms!), and the PICU where Arden will go after her surgeries before going back to the NICU.

All in all, it was a good trip with lots more information and experiences that gets us one more step closer to her birth. Please keep praying as we continue forward. Prayer for the team of doctors that will be working with both Arden and me, prayer for Eric and I as we continue to rely on our faith (have no idea how we would be still be going if we didn't have Jesus), prayer for our support networks as they continue to help us and process all of this in their own ways, and prayer for little Arden that she would remain strong and continue to do things (like making more holes in her heart) that pleasantly surprise the doctors. Elliot is doing better with our trips to the doctor which is a huge answer to prayer! A family friend has stepped in and said she would walk with Elliot as we have more and more appointments, and the consistency (not to mention her amazing personality and way with Elliot) has done him wonders!

The next appt is tomorrow (thursday) for my first OB at UCD. I'm praying that we'll catch a break somewhere and by a miracle, I'll have passed my 3 hour test. If this is true, you are all invited to a cheesecake feast at our place! I'll let you all know what happens tomorrow. Thanks once again for your humbling support and prayers!!! It is the most you can do and we are honored. Thank you.

Quotes from Elliot

2009-10-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

Tonight Elliot said two things that I thought were note worthy:

1: I was just about to brush his teeth when he burped. He smacked his lips together and said: "Mmmm, that's good french fries!"

2: We were praying and he thanked God for me and Eric and I asked him: "What about baby sister Arden?" To which he started praying again: "Lord Jesus, thank you for my... Lord Jesus, thank you for my Arden and thank you for your Arden. Jesus name, Amen!"

This is where we sit

2009-10-07T10:34:00.000-07:00

https://www.google.com/health/ref/Hypoplastic+left+heart+syndrome

We've heard numerous stories of miracles, healing, and positive outcomes. We are praying to be included in this group. Already we've been told that our faith has encouraged others and is confronting those without faith. Praise God for this! We pray that as we journey through this, our faith and strength in Him will bring Him glory.

Thank you to you all who have partnered with us in prayer. We know we haven't been the best at returning calls or emails, so thank you for your understanding in that area as well. We are blessed to be part of your life.

Level 2 Ultrasound Monday 28th

2009-09-27T23:43:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow (practically today) will be our level two ultrasound with UC Davis. We check-in at 2:30, our counseling appointment is at 3 and the u/s to look at the heart is at 3:30. For those of you who don't know, at our first u/s they were able to see all four chambers of the heart, but one of the chambers appeared to not be working properly. The doctor said it could be nothing and felt it wasn't necessary to send us down to Davis, but could still be something big enough that we needed this second look.
Please pray for a healthy baby with a healthy heart! My grandmother had five children, one who died at 9 months old because she was born with only two chambers to her heart. We've seen the four chambers which was the most important developmentally, but it still wouldn't be a reach for a heart defect to be genetic.
Please also pray for us as we prepare our hearts for news on either side. Eric and I feel both comfortable and confident that we could raise a child with health issues with no glitch, especially with Eric's childhood experiences and my undergrad focusing in special ed and health... but hearing that YOUR child might be affected with ______ we are assuming isn't really something school or your past can prepare you for and don't want to walk into the appointment naive.
We will let you all know what happens ASAP, in the mean time, please be praying for us, the baby, our support networks (this includes you), and the rest of this pregnancy as it seems to drag on for me.
A quick update on me: we hope for another u/s on my leg sometime in Oct or Nov to let us know what the status of the clot is. Since being covered in prayer for healing for a week straight (quite randomly actually) I haven't felt ANY pain in my leg related to the clot and it hasn't become swollen once. Praise God! We can only assume prayer worked and it's gone, which we hope the u/s will confirm as I get closer to delivery. Unfortunately, they discovered another blood clot on my right hip (clot in leg is on the left) that was apparently caused by the blood thinning injections I receive twice a day. This basically pissed me off b/c I hate the shots. They are making it so I don't clot, but we supposedly hit a vessel one time that started some small internal bleeding b/c I'm not clotting and eventually that ran out of room to bleed out and clotted by default. I now have a hard lump on my lip that is turning the various shades of bruise as the body works to absorb this clot as well. I'm up for my gestational diabetes test this month and covet your prayers that I am in the very small percent that don't get it again. I desperately don't want to add three more needles to my day!!! Other than that, we are chugging along as usual, praising God for our ups and trusting Him with our downs. Thanks to you all who have supported us along the way and to those who have been able to continue to do so. We love you each dearly for this!

Elliot's first prayer

2009-09-16T21:48:00.001-07:00

As we were putting Elliot to bed tonight we asked if he wanted to pray and he said yes. So we all held hands and closed our eyes and waited for him to pray. Normally about 20 seconds go by of silence until he asked me or Eric to pray instead. Tonight about 10 seconds passed and Eric and I heard:

Lord Jesus, thank you for this food, pray for my dad and my mom and pray for my dad and for my mom and and and pray for night and love you, amen. :)

It was the best moment of being a mom thus far. Pure joy.

Public Service Announcement!

2009-08-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

I thought since I know so many moms and pregos right now, this would be a great thing to pass on. Hope it helps!

Toys R Us in baby gear exchange program

The retailer will give a 20% discount to shoppers who bring in used cribs carseats and highchairs.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Toys R Us Inc. has launched a trade-in program for potentially unsafe used cribs and other baby gear, the toy giant announced Wednesday.

Between Aug. 28 and Sept. 20, all Babies R Us and Toys R Us locations nationwide will accept returns of any used cribs, car seats, bassinets, strollers, travel systems, play yards and high chairs.

In exchange, shoppers will receive 20% off the purchase of any new item in those product categories, from select manufacturers.

"We are all looking for ways to stretch our dollars, but in doing so, children's safety should not be compromised," said chief executive Jerry Storch. "[It's important to be] vigilant about potentially unsafe children's items that may still be in the marketplace."

The trade-in offer aims to educate consumers that certain baby items should not be reused or resold. The program also seeks to call attention to the fact that only 30% of recalled baby products are ever actually returned, the company said, which means that many dangerous items remain in circulation.

Beyond recalls due to safety hazards, used baby products can pose further dangers, Toys R Us noted. For example, the materials that car seats are made of can break down over time, making the product less effective in a crash.

I felt the baby kick for the first time tonight!

2009-08-16T21:58:00.001-07:00

God is so amazing! We've been bummed that our ultrasound was moved from tomorrow to Sept 9th, over three weeks away, because I've been looking for another connection to the baby. So tonight God let both of us (the baby kicked again for Eric too) feel a kick for the first time! It just makes the joy of having a baby that much more real, instead of focusing on the pains and medical limitations I'm under because I'm pregnant. It was so great to feel s/he. I'm just so happy knowing that s/he is doing okay in there and growing as s/he should be. Praise God for his faithfulness! If you haven't read 2 Samuel 22 lately, read it. It is empowering. I keep trying to just pull out a few verses for you all, but I can't narrow it down. So go ahead and read the whole chapter. Go ahead... I'll wait.

Wasn't that amazing! Don't you feel stronger? More confident? Like you can accomplish anything? Quick, while you still feel this way, go do something you've been dreading and draw on his strength to help get you through to the other side. It's beautiful over here.

God and Sean Gafner are amazing!!

2009-08-10T17:54:00.000-07:00

So today is our first Monday without a meal being provided to us in two weeks. Who knew food could be SUCH a blessing!! (Thanks to Becky and everyone who provided food for us!) So Eric and I are sitting around trying to wrap our minds around cooking and really don't have a clue what to make. Asides from PB&J's, we didn't have the ingredients for much. So we decided to use some of Eric's birthday to eat out. Eric said he felt like eating pizza and that actually sounded good to me, so we start looking for coupons online and in the phonebook. Suddenly, Eric gets a text from Sean asking if we want dinner! Huh?! Ah, sure! And from Sean - of course! He asked if we had any preferances and Eric just said I didn't like spicy food. About an hour later Sean shows up with two home-made PIZZAs!!!! They are by far the BEST pizza's I've ever eaten.

Isn't God crazy? Not only does he provide for our huge financial, physical, and spiritual needs and everyday meets our daily needs, but he even sees fit to meet our whimsical wants for pizza! Why do we ever worry about anything? So thanks to God for being bigger than anything and thanks to Sean for listening to him. You don't know how God has used you in our life.

It feels like chaos, somehow there's peace

2009-08-01T18:48:00.000-07:00

"There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
But I'm giving in to something heavenly...
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly"
-Sanctus Real, Whatever You're Doing

This seems to sum up what the last two weeks (or really what the last month) has been like for me. The month started with attacks on our marriage, then struggles with family, then finding out about a life-threatening health condition, and now struggles with insurance over the meds so I can literally stay alive. I don't know what God is doing or allowing to happen, but our faith is seriously being rocked. And although we don't have a clue as to "why us", we are daily praising God and trusting in his heavenly process.

I'm pretty sure that any of you reading this know that about two weeks ago doctors discovered a blood clot in the main artery of my left leg that starts somewhere (that's right, they aren't sure where!) above my pelvis and ends at my knee, plus extends halfway down both branches of the artery as well. Doctors said they weren't necessarily impressed by the extent of the clot but more by the fact that I was still alive with this clot. They said with the size of it and with my continued activity, I was "lucky". Praise God that he has a plan for me past today!

The last two weeks have been a roller coaster of emotion for us. One day I will be okay. Mostly upbeat but tired, and wanting to participate in life around me. Other days, like today, I am so overwhelmed with frustration, stress, fear, and grief that I just want to close the doors and windows and cry in a dark room until I fall asleep. Yet I'm clinging to Job 2:10: "Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?"

Our most recent debacle centers over our insurance. First of all, praise God we were accepted to Medi-Cal the end of June at 100%! God knows everything! Now, we've been "working" with our pharmacy to make sure that Medi-Cal will pay for the shots I need to inject myself with twice a day for the next 6 months (yuck). Apparently Medi-Cal usually only pays for about a week and my pharmacy knew that I would need a TAR (Treatment Authorization Request) since my prescription is for longer than the week! They put this together, sent it off to Medi-Cal and we called at the end of the week to check on this b/c I was going to run out of shots today. Yesterday the pharmacist said they should hear back by the end of the day and due to my situation, it shouldn't be a problem. So I took my last shot this morning and we called the pharmacy to see if we could pick up my next six shots (I know, 3 days at a time is all we get, good grief!) and they said Medi-Cal deferred the TAR b/c they were unsure if my due date was 1/09 or 1/10 and since it's deferred, I can't have any shots. Interesting. Don't you think it's common sense to assume my EDD is 1/10 if I'm PREGNANT!!! We called the on-call doctor and they were amazed at the stupid error and told me to make sure I got the shots I need from somewhere because (and this is a quote) "if you miss a shot, you could die." Awesome. Thanks for that. So we spent the morning driving from pharmacy to pharmacy to find someone who would help us and finally landed at Owens. Other pharmacies said we could buy one shot for $60 (that's $240 to get me through Monday morning!) but Owen's said they would give us the 4 shots in good faith expecting that Medi-Cal will start using their brain and approve the TAR for the shots for the rest of my pregnancy. Here's a huge shout-out to Owen's Pharmacy and their workers! I love them!

I love how God works with messy situations. Although each step of this blood clot has been really hard, he's provided every step of the way. Even today, my mom drove by the pharmacy and saw our van and stopped by to trade cars and take Elliot so we didn't have to entertain him while all of this was going on and then told us to go out to lunch together when it was done. Then a friend stopped by with some basic pantry items for us that we were running low on and handed Eric a check (without knowing what happened today) that will cover the cost of the shots we got today if we have to pay for them. God is CRAZY amazing. He knows EVERYTHING!

Anyways, I haven't been on here since all this happened b/c I just didn't know what to write since each day is so different. But I thought since today started with me crying through the morning and is ending with me still loving the Lord, it was a good day to share. Eric and I want to thank EVERYONE who has been praying for us, who has visited, called, emailed, texted, etc, brought food, encouraged and so much more that we will never be able to repay. We are both overwhelmed and humbled by your love. Thank you.

Funny baby video

2009-07-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

I have yet to figure out how to post a video from youtube in my blog, so until someone teaches me, you'll have to keep following the links. I got this from my mom. Babies rollerskating... with attitude! I love it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQcVllWpwGs

It's too tired

2009-06-30T00:38:00.000-07:00

I'm absolutely spent. Work has kept up until 1:30 last night and 11 tonight. I close every night this week with one day off. We just lost one employee to college down in Sac last week, and this week one employee starts a two week vacation and another is due in four weeks so this is her last week. We are down to 6 employees for the next two weeks. I just read that ALL developmental and physical disabilities that my child could have are set by the end of the 10th week and I'm dying thinking about how I've taken care of myself (or not) this last week and what the next week looks like. Please be in prayer for the health of the baby and for myself. Emotionally, I've also taken a hard hit this week. Yeah, so that sucks too. Spiritually - well, I made it to church this week for the first time in about a month or something ridiculous like that but was 1/2 hour late due to extented family drama and just found out that I can't make life group this week. I'm reading the Bible when I can, but mostly it's been Air 1's verse of the day b/c extra time I find I try to devote to sleep or eating. I just don't haven't anything left. I want to ask for help, but I don't know what you could help with. Prayer I guess. Just pray. Thanks

To the women in my life.

2009-06-17T16:20:00.000-07:00

I was sent this video by one of the Yaya's. For those of you who don't know who the yaya's are, they are like the pigeons in the video. I thought was appropriate to pass on to all of you. Enjoy.

I am too!

2009-06-06T00:22:00.001-07:00

Just instilled a fear of spiders - oops!

2009-06-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

We've tried really hard to not pass on any of our "irrational" fears or food preferences to Elliot. So even though I hate onions, I feed them to him. And even though Eric hates snakes, we'll show them to him when I find them in the garden. But today I failed!

Elliot needed to go potty so we went to the toilet and he said there was an "owie" in there (owies are hair that isn't on the head - like on the ground or in his mouth). He went to reach to get it out and I told him not to take things out of the toilet but right as I was reaching for his hand he touched the "owie" and it moved across the bowl of the toilet. As I saw the spider that was bigger than a golf ball (I'M NOT KIDDING) we both screamed and jumped back. I screamed b/c it was way too big to be in my house and I think Elliot screamed b/c the sudden movement startled him and then my scream just reinforced his feelings. Poor guy.

I ended up flushing the thing, but Elliot was wary to go potty after that. He finally went, but only after I explained the spider was all gone and down the toilet like his stink and he looked inside to make sure. I felt so bad for the kid I had to confess to someone! Thanks for being here!

Gymboree Memorial Weekend Sales!

2009-05-21T13:53:00.000-07:00

Our store has some killer sales right now! These prices apply not only to our kid/baby boy and kid/baby girl lines but to out newborn lines as well!

$4.99 and under - Winter and prior lines
$6.99 and under - Spring Transition and Spring 1 lines
$9.99 and under - Spring 2 and Easter lines

$6.99 - Tanks and knit shorts in our new Summer 1 & 2 lines
$9.99 - Woven shorts in our new Summer 1 & 2
$9.99 - ALL Swimwear

The sale ends after Monday, so make sure you come in and get it while the prices are good!

2009 Mother of the Year

2009-05-10T14:50:00.000-07:00

Eric sent this to me. Apparently I was awarded 2009 Mother of the Year on CNN news. Check out the video. I think the baby talking and the tattoo are my favorite parts.

Most Embarrassing Moments

2009-04-23T20:57:00.000-07:00

Anna Moseley inspired this blog. Everyone must comment back with their most embarrassing moment and we will all relish in each other's crazy stories.

Here is mine:
So I was 7 to 8 months pregnant and fairly big. I was just wasting time wandering the department stores after Christmas looking at all the discounted junk that we all seem to need in early December when I saw a massage chair. My pregnant body was all for a massage in any form so I waddled over and decided to give it a go. It was one of those portable chairs with just a back and arm rests that would sit against your wall on the floor. After I finally get it set up and get me on the floor to use it, I turn it on and it is fabulous. I'm loving this chair. I lean back, relax and close my eyes to enjoy a free post-holiday massage but suddenly realize I had relaxed a bit too much! Yes, that's right, I peed my pants! Just a small, small bit, but enough for me to take my sweatshirt off and tie it around my waist. OMG, I was so embarrassed. I immediately got up, pushed the chair in the corner, squirted all my purse-size purell on the floor and then lied to a nearby cashier that I "spilled" my purell and it needed to be mopped up. I don't think I went back into the store until after Elliot was born and I no longer had him squeezing my bladder. I was SO embarrassed!

Okay everyone... I told you mine... you tell me yours! Spill the beans!

Moving Sale

2009-04-20T11:07:00.001-07:00

We are having an in-home moving sale before our garage sale in hopes to off load some of our bigger items. Please see our craigslist post for details. We are WAY squishy on the prices, I always list high knowing people will offer less. We'd love to cut you all deals!

http://redding.craigslist.org/fuo/1131379995.html

Verse of the day

2009-04-14T13:01:00.000-07:00

I signed up for Air 1's verse of the day years ago and I get it about once a week - don't ask me why there is a difference - I haven't a clue! Anyways, this was the verse for the day and I thought it was pretty hard core. Read it.

"Examine yourselves to see if your faith is really genuine. Test yourselves. If you cannot tell that Jesus Christ is among you, it means you have failed the test."

2 Corinthians 13:5, NLT

Did you pass the test?

Interesting Article about Obama and Easter Sunday.

2009-04-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

I found this article and thought how crazy it must be to be the President. He can't even sit in a pew on Easter without being picked apart! Good luck Mr. President - We'll be praying for you!

D.C. churches anxious as Obama picks Easter church

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Obama and his family are looking for a new church, but his decision represents more than merely settling on a pew.

The Obamas planned to attend Easter services Sunday, marking the president's first visit to a Washington church since taking office in January. Aides have been secretive about which church the first family will attend, citing security and the desire not to disrupt services for other worshippers. They also caution that the church Obama visits might not signal that the president has decided on a permanent place of worship.

Obama's choice of a permanent pastor is sure to draw scrutiny, given his history with a pastor in Chicago whose bombastic sermons almost destroyed Obama's presidential bid.

"On one level, I think he's just getting acclimated to DC. He's still feeling things out. Easter is a very important day in the Christian calendar; he's a Christian," said J. Kameron Carter, who teaches theology and black church studies at Duke University. "But you are the president. Whatever decision he makes is going to be analyzed with a fine-tooth comb against the backdrop of the Rev. Wright."

Obama's presidential campaign was blind-sided last year when video surfaced of his friend and pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, condemning the United States and suggesting the government was to blame for the HIV/AIDS scourge on black communities. Wright's sermons forced the then-senator to deliver two speeches: the first, a tempered defense of the pastor whose rhetoric inspired the name of Obama's memoir; later, a speech about Obama's views on race that has been viewed almost 6 million times online.

Wright followed up with a media tour that personally frustrated Obama and politically enraged his aides. Obama left Trinity United Church of Christ and has been without an official house of worship since then, instead relying on a close circle of advisers and pastors to help him in private.

"What the president should do — and I believe would do — is find a church home that's good for his family," said Jim Wallis, a progressive evangelical who speaks with White House aides several times each day and Obama frequently.

"In the post-Jeremiah world, he can't just do that," Wallis said.

But Obama has told his advisers he needs a church, and he faces choice.

He could join a historically African-American church in the nation's capital, where 55% of the population is black. It would be a nod to his family's roots on the South Side of Chicago, a signal to his black supporters who helped fuel his rapid rise and a cue to his two young daughters. It could also be a danger if a message from the pulpit comes anywhere close to Wright's heated rhetoric.

Aides say he could just as easily select an integrated church, similar to the one his visited immediately after his South Carolina Democratic primary win last year. Obama made his first appearance after the victory at an interracial and interdenominational church in Macon, Ga. The move helped him with whites concerned Obama was merely a candidate for black voters and helped him win that state's nominating contest.

Experts caution reading too much into what Obama does on Sunday and beyond to address his personal faith.

"At the end of the day, whatever way he finally goes is going to be dissected," said Carter of Duke's divinity school. "I think it gets in the way on some level."

So far, Obama hasn't really needed a church to call his own; he spent last Easter in the U.S. Virgin Islands and Christmas in Hawaii.

But for his first major Christian holiday as president, Obama is publicly marking the celebration. Obama enlisted aides, friends and advisers to scout out more than a dozen churches in the Washington area.

Since the New Year, the Obamas have only attended church services twice in Washington. Two days before the inauguration, Obama visited 19th Street Baptist Church where worshippers lined up three hours before the service.

"Just another typical Sunday," deadpanned the Rev. Derrick Harkins of 19th Street, one of the oldest historically black churches in Washington.

Aides this week said the Obamas would not be visiting 19th Street for Easter.

Obama and his family attended a private service at St. John's Church on Inauguration Day, a tradition for those about to become president. The Rev. Luis Leon welcomed the Obamas to the Episcopalian church and noted every president since James Madison has worshipped at the church at least once, "some of them kicking and screaming."

White House aides note the Obamas have spent several weekends at the presidential retreat at Camp David, where there is a chapel. Aides say there would be no way to know if the Obamas visited the chapel for private prayer with a guest pastor.

Elliot and his girlfriend in highschool

2009-03-30T14:34:00.001-07:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Mamma Mia Pictures

2009-03-26T09:12:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, I recently went to a Mamma Mia party. Here are some pictures from the night.

Below are some pictures from out last party where "old lady" was our theme. :) Enjoy!

Current sales at Gymboree

2009-03-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

The spring transitional line and the first spring line is up to 40% off, the second spring line is 20% off. Older winter lines are up to 60%. Lots of pastel long sleeve shirts for girls around 2.99-5.99. Christmas shirts at .99 cents. Let me know if there are things you are specifically looking for and I can let you know when they go on sale.

Day Light Savings Bloopers

2009-03-08T15:26:00.001-07:00

Okay, it happens to someone every time. Who was it this time? Who got up late, showed up late, etc. I just went to bed late forgetting I was losing an hour of sleep. That was obnoxious in the morning.

The best story I know of is the missionary from Arizona that came to help out at the church I was working for and somehow made it through school w/o knowing the rest of the country adheres to DST. He showed up an hour late to the morning service and it took us 1/2 the day to convince him that everyone actually turned their clocks forward b/c our calenders told us to and it wasn't an elaborate prank on his behalf. it was classic!

What other great DST stories are out there?

What ever happened to the Slurpee?

2009-03-05T23:39:00.000-08:00

Tonight I had the biggest craving for a Slurpee but couldn't find one. We actually drove to a handful of places and couldn't find them. I found Freezies and other wannabees, but not the Slurpee.

You know what I'm talkin' about! The kind you would rummage through your couch to find extra change just so you could rush to the closest gas station for a cup of multi-layered refreshment. You'd find the biggest cup you could and then place the dome top on and fill it until Splurpee oozed out the top. Then you could eat it with the coolest straw/spoon thingy that was only slighty annoying when you got to the bottom and the spoon got in the way of the straw function. But they were syrupy and crunchy and they'd give you the best sugar high. It would hit the spot every time.

Now all I can find are those ridiculous Icies. Only half sweet and filled with weird foam or air so you are kinda burping for an hour after you're done - not really burping and accomplishing anything - just kinda burping. It's just not worth it.

Where did all the Slurpee's go?!?! I miss the Slurpee. If anyone knows where they still exist - contact me immediately.

Happy Birthday Elliot!

2009-02-27T15:09:00.000-08:00

Elliot has had lots of fun celebrating his birthday this year. Just wanted to share some pictures. The first party is at my mom's house with my parents and Eric's parents.

The second party is at Chuck E. Cheese's with the mom's group gang.
Thanks to anyone and everyone to made this year special! We love you!

Will You Marry Me?

2009-02-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Four years ago today Eric made a surprise visit down to Mill Valley from Redding and sent me on a scavenger hunt all around my campus that ended at Pelican Bay - a restaurant on the water in Sausalito. I walked in and was told the man at the bar was waiting for me. I looked over and saw a hairy, older Asian man drinking beer... the waiter laughed and apologized when he realized Eric had been seated and I was NOT excited to see the guy chugging beer at the bar. Eric gave me the best hug ever, bought me crab cakes, and so sweetly and nervously got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. Less than five months later we were married in beautiful Kauai. Less than a year later we found out I was pregnant. Nine months later Elliot was born and added to the joy that is our family. And next week we'll get to celebrate two years of baby kisses. What a beautiful life.

ZUMBA!

2009-02-13T14:27:00.000-08:00

So I went to the gym today for the second time. It was a mixed experience. After finding out that the Hartley's and the Bram's are members there, it was fun to watch Nate walk out as I walked in. Looks like that is the gym of choice for the Stirringites. Perhaps we can find workout buddies. One notch on the "yea" side.

I did ZUMBA for the first time today and loved it. I didn't wear enough deodorant though, so that didn't help me make any friends while I was there. Cei la vie. (Wow, spell check didn't pick up any of those words - did I really spell that right? Cool.) Zumba was so much fun and I loved seeing women in their 60's shake it next to women in their 20's. And boy was it a workout! Who knew!?!? One more notch for "yea" with a note to bring more deodorant.

I went to see how Eric was doing and while we were talking near the kid's area, we saw Elliot escape with another child after an older kid left w/o closing the door. The supervisor didn't notice immediately but when she did she corralled the Elliot and the other child back into the room. No go for Elliot though, he saw his freedom get taken away and I'm pretty sure saw his parents too. Letting our child escape gives one notch on the "boo" side of our tally sheet for the gym.

I think working out there could be great, but we are still rather undecided and only have about a week left on our free pass. I really want a place to workout that has childcare so I can go anytime I want and this place could be free if I help in the kid's area once a week for 3 hours. The tallies equal themselves out there: free membership but more time away from the house I'd like to keep clean and the family I'd like to be with.

So tell me what you think. Membership? Time in the kid's area? No exercising and only watching tv with cookies and milk? Wanna come exercise me and we can encourage one another?... ZUMBA is a lot of fun! Give me your feedback. Thanks.

I don't even know what to title this?

2009-01-23T13:26:00.000-08:00

Okay, what is the deal. So last I blogged, my hair was turning gray. Now I'm getting smaller too! And unfortunately I don't mean my waist or pant size... Check this out: I wear 7 1/2 size shoes, can't get my foot in a 7 and my foot swims in an 8. But lately all my shoes haven't been fitting right and when I go to the store I seem to be bouncing back and forth in the size sections because I can't find a size that consistently fits. Well I finally got my foot measured to see what in the world was going on and I'm a solid size 7! I've been a 7 1/2 all my teen/adult life! Now suddenly I'm a 7? She even said I was just over a 6 1/2 if I wanted to look at the shoes there - WHAT THE HECK?

My head is changing colors and now my feet are shrinking. I don't even want to know what is next!

I don't want to dye!

2009-01-16T20:57:00.001-08:00

Okay, so I just finished pulling 6 (that's right six! More than one hand of fingers) gray hairs from my head. Up until now I knew exactly where the 2 gray hairs were on my head. And I know there are more than 6 today b/c I saw them, but I just decided it was better to have a gray hair than no hair.

I remember being little and looking at my grandmother and thinking her gray hair was beautiful! I remember telling her that I couldn't wait to have gray hair like her's because it was so pretty and shiny. Yeah... I can wait now. I still think gray hair is beautiful, but I don't think it's beautiful on ME! Come on! I'm 28! Can't I at least get to 30? Or 40 even?! I suppose I have to either deal with it or start dishing out the coin for hair dye. I don't want to do either. Humpht!

Okay, there is my pity party post. I'm off to mope in a dark room with no mirrors or tweezers.

The Frey "You Found Me" Discussion Blog

2009-01-07T23:26:00.000-08:00

A friend of mine in CO is having a discussion group at his weekly Tribe of Jesus meeting about the Frey song listed above and asked for those far away to give their input to help with the discussion. I thought it was interesting and wanted to see what you all thought as well. Here is a copy of what I emailed my friend with some links to videos we discussed. Please post your responses to the lyrics, videos, or my thoughts. Thanks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obhdTlImFBo
I couldn't figure out how to email ToJ so I'm emailing you. I first searched for the song and the video for Lost came up. Having never watched Lost, I hated the video and was confused by the song. Everyone else seemed to love it. Here's the link to that: http://www.musicloversgroup.com/the-fray-you-found-me-video-and-lyrics/

Next I read the words below the video and it seemed to be a fairly hopeless song. I thought it was interesting how the main character is upset that God didn't find him. I've always thought of my journey with God as me chasing after him, and following him... so to think of someone being upset that God didn't follow them was interesting - eye opening. I thought that the girl he talked about was placed in God's role in his life and that is why he was so hopeless... to believe that she was the only one to know him and really be everything for him leaves him "lost and insecure" when she is gone. From a Xn perspective, it was nice to think that my identity was placed in something or I should say someone bigger. That thought right there made me want to evangelize (if you will) the neighborhood: "There is something bigger, permanent, all-encompassing, and cannot let you down people!!!"

I toyed with what the person was "surrounded" with for a while. I went from despair, to the Holy Spirit, to blood. Blood made me listen to the song a few more times and made me think that the person died and that is why they "found" God. This made sense with the "just a little too late" part.

Finally, I went to comment back to you and realized I could see another video of the song that was probably the music video you were talking about and not the Lost trailer I found.
I liked this video much better. It was obviously a take on the City Of Angels movie with the band members being the angels. On one hand I liked the irony of God's hosts being all around the person who died in the video and they just missed God's presence because (as I believe anyway) God is always here, regardless of if he is recognized by others. But I thought the band members played the angels with a nonchalant attitude, as if God was around, but didn't care. This, I think, is a very real assumption many people have. If they can allow a god in their reality, I think many feel s/he just doesn't care about us.

I finally read some comments on the song from other youtube users and was intrigued by the sense of power people felt when they belted this song out in the shower. I couldn't decided if misery loved company or if they felt justified in their anger because others had spent time waiting to hear from God and didn't... this justification meant their pain was not a repercussion from their prior action but God's fault for not lighting a burning bush in their apartment.

Overall, I think this song is mostly about expectations and the disappointment felt when these are not met. Interesting how those who do not believe in God or a god at all still blame God when their expectations in life are not met. Lots more thoughts, but hard to get them out when I'm not in a discussion and only writing solo. :)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

2008-12-03T13:35:00.000-08:00

To be happy or not to be happy

2008-11-30T16:20:00.001-08:00

So Elliot is pretty much potty-trained. He'll only go in his pants when we've been out in the car too long without letting him go, or if Eric and I are fighting - which is great incentive to not fight! (Not that we fight a lot, but you know what I mean.) So here we are all proud of our son, happy we aren't buying diapers as much, and pretty amazed at the whole thing. This is a good thing, right? Well in the last three days during either a nap or bed time, he's pulled off his pants (good to know he can do that now!) and figured out how to take off his diaper (which he still wears when he sleeps) and pees on his bed or OUT his bed onto the floor! OMG! It's really frustrating! It's weird through because he keeps telling us what he did and is really kinda sad that it's happened. So we think he is trying to be really good and NOT go potty in his pants like we've told him. We think he's taking off his pants but there is no potty around, so he just goes there.... but it's not in his pants, so it's okay right? How do I explain this to a 22 month old? Good grief! Just in case anyone else has gone through this, we'd love some input! :)

Gymboree Deals

2008-11-24T14:03:00.001-08:00

Just wanted all the parents to know that all the jeans, cords, and winter vests are on sale at Gymboree right now for $9.99. Plus all the knit winter accessories (hats, gloves/mittens, scarves) are all $5.99. This sale will only last through this Wednesday. Then, starting Friday (the day after Thanksgiving) the new sale will be all of our fleece pants and jackets for $9.99 along with all of our pj's for $7.99! I'm not sure if the winter accessories will continue through the holiday. But, if you shop from Friday through Sunday after the holiday, your entire purchase will be an additional 20% off. Just thought I'd let all you bargain shoppers out there know!

If you've never heard of Gymboree, they are great! (And not just because I work there!) All of their items are pre-washed and pre-shrunk. Any embroidery or buttons you find on the clothing are all hand down to ensure a good stitch. And all the colors are color-safe! Gymboree is known for their top quality. You'll always hear about Gymboree clothing being passed down from child to child and from family to family because it lasts!

We've also partnered with St. Jude this year and are taking donations for the hospital. $.85 of every dollar you donate goes straight to the kids, the other $.15 is strictly for admin. (There's, not ours.) Did you know it costs over $1,200,000 a DAY to run St. Judes? Crazy! But what they do is amazing and I'm so glad I work for a place that supports such a great cause. So if you are looking to make a donation this year, you can come in and make it through us! Add it to your purchase or just donate if you don't find anything you want to buy. The receipt works of all your tax needs.

Regardless of if you buy anything, or donate anything, I'd love for you to stop by the store and say hey! Being the financial provider for the family is a big shift from the full-time mommie job I had! I'd love the support! Thanks gang! Hope to see you all at Gymboree!

Casa Ramos - yum!

2008-11-19T13:51:00.000-08:00

Eric and I were able to eat out the other night. It was great. Elliot in tow, we ordered a plate for each of us. Eric had three different kinds of tacos, though he said the mahi mahi was the best. I had the biggest taquitto I'd ever seen (it was fantastic), and Elliot had a plate full of chicken nuggets, french fries, mozzarella sticks and a quesadillia (less that $5!). When we were all stuffed, I got a box for my plate and chose some of Elliot's food that I'd want him to eat later: the chicken and quesadilla. Elliot, seeing what I was doing, must have noticed I was ignoring his french fries because he grabed his plate and the box, pulled them closer to him, and picked just the french fries from the plate and put them in the box too. He matter-of-fact looked at me when he was done and said: "fies" as if to say, "mom, do you really think I'd let you leave the fries?" Eric and I cracked up. It was a great family dinner!

I wanna be like Zeke

2008-11-16T13:38:00.000-08:00

Have you ever read through the Gospels and realized how many times the disciples were "amazed" or "in awe" when they listened to Jesus, or when they watched Jesus, or when they interacted with Jesus? I've often thought how stupid that is. I mean, come on! You're with God! He can do ANYTHING! How many times do you have to see a miracle before you can just know that God rocks and expect that God will rock? Good grief guys - what is it going to take to get it through your heads?

Well, this morning I realized that the disciples actually had it right-on and that I'd allowed myself to become jaded to His specific, but all-encompassing magnificence. Each time the disciples saw God in action, they were filled with a humility that put life into perspective where as I just give God a high-five for being cool. The disciples, with each awe-struck moment, spiritually got on their knees and recognized the worship that Jesus deserved where as I rarely see the awe in moments at all anymore. How lame am I?

I want to change the way I approach God. I adore the intimate friendship I have with him but I can't forget that I am with God! He can do ANYTHING! And that every time I get to witness him at work, it is AWESOME! He ROCKS! He can turn the colors of the leaves to purple!

Thanks to Zeke for being amazed with each side of a leaf that is bigger than your face. You rock too.

Church tonight was fantastic!

2008-11-09T22:15:00.000-08:00

For a few years now I've waged war against porn. It hasn't been a personal struggle, but I've had people who are beyond close to me be torn apart from this addiction and the affects its had on them. Because of their experiences and struggle, I'd developed a very aggressive and abrupt outlook of porn. Tonight I was introduced to God's compassion over those who struggle. I'd never understood that porn isn't just the fruit of the world's culture, but it is a purposeful ploy of Satan's to pull people from God. That low self-esteems and poor body-images are a part of Satan's plan and not just the result of too many Seventeen magazines when I was younger. Also, I'd never been allowed (or tried, I guess) to understand what drives a person to porn - or back to it! Amazing how God's best laid plans can be crumbled when we allow ourselves to forget His Truth and dwell on fiction or a world of fantasy.

I'd like to publicly thank my husband for standing up for me and my self image. Tonight I realized I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans again. I didn't know they were my favorite until tonight. About a month ago I was complaining to a friend about how I didn't like my body because jeans never fit right especially these ones. Eric was apparently listening and told me later how he loved these jeans on me. And that did it for me. Just because Eric said he liked them, my esteem was raised and I moved closer to focusing on Truth rather than lies. I'd moved the jeans from my "laundry pants", to my favorite pair of pants without a conscious thought. So thank you to Eric, my wonderful husband, for reminding me that I am beautiful instead of letting me be consumed with my fake standards.

Everyone, please pray over tonight's message and it's effects. Tonight I felt so much power and love and freedom circulating throughout the church, it was overwhelming. My biggest prayer at the end of the night was that God's strength would follow people home and not be forgotten in the parking lot. That when people find themselves in their pattern of porn, longing for their spouse to be different or thinking they aren't skinny enough - they would call on God to remind them of His Truth and His Ways! I pray that confession, matched with compassion, would erupt in the homes of our members tonight and that encouragement and accountability would follow. Please, regardless of your personal relationship with pornography, pray for those who were convicted tonight and for their family members. Pray this elephant would be demolished!!!

Praying for our president

2008-11-06T19:30:00.001-08:00

Whether you voted for Obama or not, you need to pray for him.
Here are 10 ways I plan to intercede for him regularly:

1. Pray for Obama's protection. We already know that some weird, neo-Nazi fanatics in Tennessee plotted to kill Sen. Obama during his campaign. Let's pray that racist hatred is not allowed to spread. Let's cancel every assassin's bullet in the name of Jesus. May civility triumph over bigotry.

2. Cover his wife and daughters in prayer. It is not easy to live under constant media scrutiny. Pray for Obama's wife, Michelle, and their two daughters, Malia and Natasha, as they face invasive cameras, nosy reporters, maniacal fans and dangerous enemies. Obama is not only a politician but also a husband and a father.

3. Pray that Obama will govern with God's wisdom. God rewarded Solomon because he asked for wisdom instead of wealth, long life or vengeance on his enemies (see 1 Kings 3:11-12). Pray that Obama will order his priorities like that. Despite Solomon's tragic character flaws, his legacy was wisdom. We can ask God to give our president the same grace.

4. Ask God to keep our president humble. Many great American leaders became corrupt after they moved to Washington. The fatal attraction of fame, wealth and power proved irresistible. The only thing that will guard a man or woman from this pitfall is humility. May God deliver President Obama from the curse of pride.

5. Pray for wise and righteous advisers to surround him. Godly leaders cannot do their job alone. Even the best leaders have failed because they trusted the wrong people. Pray that Obama will not select his counselors based on party, race, pedigree or political cronyism but on godly character and proven wisdom. Pray also that he will not allow secret traitors into his inner circle.

6. Ask for the spirit of reconciliation. Some segments of our deeply divided society want nothing to do with Obama now that he has won the presidency. Even some Christians will be tempted to harbor resentment and nurse political grudges throughout his term in office. Pray that God will grant forgiveness and healing so that leaders on all political levels can have constructive dialogue.

7. Pray that Obama will adopt pro-life convictions. Many politicians have changed their views on key issues while in office. In the 1800s some leaders who favored slavery later denounced it. In the 1950s some who opposed racial integration later became champions of it. Even though Obama won approval from many voters because he sanctions abortion, God could soften and change his heart.

8. Bind all evil forces assigned to manipulate our president. The specter of Islamic terrorism looms over the United States, and dark forces are ready to infiltrate. Our only hope lies in prayer to the God who is able to expose and outwit the schemes of the wicked. This is truly a time for spiritual warfare, and intercessors must not come off the wall in this hour! Pray that no foreign government, terrorist organization or demonic principality will use Obama as a tool. We must stand strong against the spirit of antichrist that promotes dictatorship, persecution of Christians and hostility toward Israel.

9. Pray that Obama's door will remain open to the church. The loudest voices of secular culture—from Bill Maher in Hollywood to atheists in academia—would be happy if religion were removed from public life. Pray that Obama, who claims to have a personal faith in Jesus Christ, will unapologetically welcome Christian leaders into his company and seek their counsel. And pray that false religious leaders (who claim to know Christ but deny His power) will not have his ear.

10. Pray that our nation will enjoy God's peace and blessing during the Obama administration. The apostle Paul instructed early believers to pray for all in authority "so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity" (1 Tim. 2:2, NASB). God's will is for America to experience peace and prosperity so that we can continue to export the gospel to the nations. This must happen whether a Democrat or a Republican is in the White House. As we cry out for God's mercy on our wayward nation, pray that He will allow us to be a light to the world as we finance global missions, feed and heal the world's poor and share Christ's love at home and abroad.

This was taken from J. Lee Grady: editor of Charisma.

Heroes?

2008-10-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

Anyone else a Heroes fan? Anyone else watch this season with a "what the..." look on their face the whole time? I used to be excited to watch and love every minute of it. Now, just thinking about watching it makes me tired. With every show there is another twist that leaves you guessing. A good factor I suppose, but not only am I guessing about what will happen next, I'm trying to figure out how the new plot fits with the old plot or if it even matters because the future changed due to the new plot. Good grief.

Just some quick updates: Eric has a blue mohawk and the Rays are scraping by in the World Series. My mom is convinced it's because she dyed his hair the wrong shade of blue. Elliot is up and down with potty training. One day he is dry, the next day we don't have enough underware to keep up with his accidents - or lazies as we've been calling them. I start at Gymboree on 11/10. I was called last week and promoted to the management team - gotta love a promotion before the work even starts! Here's to living up to their expectations and earning benefits.

*Cheers*

Baby Expo - Please come!

2008-10-14T22:41:00.000-07:00

I am participating in a Baby Expo November 15th. The expo is focused on home based businesses, so it will be rather small - but you will find all your favorite business there to do all your holiday (and personal) shopping at once. Or, if you've been looking to make some extra cash, but don't know which home based business to pick, we will all be there for you to compare and choose! It is completely free and held at a church in Chico. So make a day of it and drive down to Chico and visit the mall, Toys R Us, and the Expo. If you are interested in any of the Baby Splendor products, I'll be offering many of them at a discount that day only, and offering $20 off the starter kit (which is only $99 anyway) that day as well if you want to join my team. So please come support me and, of course, have a fun day out!

Directions to the expo here

This FREE event will be fun for the whole family. Bring a few friends and:

Explore the many vendor booths from all your favorite Home Based businesses.
Start your holiday shopping early, and get it done all in one place.
Sign up to host a party and earn free or discounted products from your favorite businesses.
View all the opportunities for starting your own home based business to earn extra cash!
Enter to win raffle prizes from our vendor sponsors.

2008-10-13T20:30:00.001-07:00

Just a moment for excitement... my birthday present this year was tickets to the Russian Ballet Nutcracker performing here in Redding. Not only is it a super fun childhood memory, but Eric is going with me! Eric! That's love baby.

Smarter than he looks

2008-10-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

So I know that I've been posting about potty training a lot, but that is pretty much my world right now... Today, Elliot connected that everytime he goes potty in the toilet, he gets a treat. So today, we had two incidents of Elliot going potty just long enough for the sensors on the toilet to recognize he'd gone and play his reward music, and him getting a treat. Then he's sit back down and go a bit more for more treats, and then again and again and again... I figure as long as he's connecting that is where he is supposed to go, I'll give him the treats. And according to Eric, it's pretty hard for a boy to stop going once he's started, so I figure it a whole other skill he's learning! :) It's just so funny to watch him run back and forth from the bathroom to the kitchen over and over again.

Also, he's started to show some signs of being like me. (It's about time since he looks nothing like me!) When we are eating, if he spills anything on the table, he wants a napkin so he can clean it up. Then he cleans his hands and gives the napkin back. And yesterday I got the vacuum at and he got so excited, squeeling and clapping that I was going to vacuum. He stood next to me and pushed the vacuum around for a bit. I love it! If he has anything of mine, I'd love for it to be my cleaning! Yahoo!

Financial Peace University

2008-10-03T23:32:00.001-07:00

I'd like to give a shout-out to Dave Ramsey. Because of his class we are going through, Eric and I don't have to move in with my parents this month! Can I get a "Woop! Woop!"?

Eric and I are beyond tight with money and probably living outside our means, but we're not sure what else we can turn off or sell to make ends meet. I've always been the "nerd" as Dave would say it. I love spread sheets, walking into Office Depot makes me very excited, and I've even read a book and highlighted the points I liked with a pen and a ruler to make sure all the lines were straight. (The ruler thing was before I had a child or a spouse - thank God He didn't create us to be alone!) All this to say, budgeting wasn't a new concept for me... but budgeting when I'm not the only one with a debit card is hard! I kept making a budget, showing it Eric, he'd smile, say: "good job", and then want to eat at In 'n Out after our grocery shopping. :)

Financial Peace University has taught us together so we can be on the same page, using the same language, and heading in the same direction for the same goal. This weekend Eric and I had planned on approaching my parents about living with them. Today, in preparation, we did some of Dave's homework and sat down to map out all the money we needed to spend this month before it was spent. And, ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to say that (for the month of October) you can still find us on Bechelli Ln. (Crosses off "Painful converstaion with parents" from To-Do list.) Does anyone else have an uncontrollable smile on their face right now?

In conclusion, I'd like to tell the world four things:
A. First of all, no matter how tight things get, you should always tithe. God is more than faithful. I'm constantly surprised by people who don't know this in their heart and in their actions.
B. Second, if you'd like to have a similar uncontrollable smile, we meet at my place and you are welcome to join. Contact me for more information.
C. Third, I have to confess that, at times, I've thought Dave Ramsey was a bit full of himself. But today I saw his methods work and realized he has a right to be proud. I formally appologize.
D. And finally, Pop Secret Home Style popcorn is by far, the best microwave popcorn ever and the perfect late-night blogging companion.

Potties and Prizes

2008-10-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

Elliot has been potty training. Which will be great in the long run. Right now it is very casual and laid back. Or at least it was.... Yesterday Elliot told me he needed to go, so we rushed into the bathroom and took his shorts and diaper off and placed him on the potty and waited. And waited and waited and waited. While waiting he learned that if he sucks his stomach in while leaning back, he can, er, change where he is, ah, "pointing". Doing my best to navigate the world of boyhood, I try to get him to sit up and such so he is "pointing" back into the toilet. Yeah right, now it's a game. So he leans back, sucks in his tummy, and pees on the floor. Crap! So I push his "pointer" back where it needs to be, only to scare the pee back up inside. Great. So I clean up the floor, figure we've got some more waiting to do because I know he had to go more, but I scared it away. Well I don't know about you, but keeping a toddler on a potty chair isn't the easiest thing to do, especially if he thinks he's done his job! So after he's told me he's "ahl dun" about 10 times, I let him get up. Now I'm faced with a decision. He gets to flush the toilet after we dump his potty chair contents in it and then he gets two jelly beans when he goes potty. Well he went potty alright, but on the floor! So since there is nothing to dump, I decide to not let him flush the toilet or give him jelly beans b/c he didn't actually go in the chair - he went on the floor - and he did it on purpose! Half feeling guiltly and half feeling like a consistant parent, I take him to his changing table where he promtly pees all over me. Classic. I guess I will wait for his to say "ahl dun" 15 times next time. :)

Living in the moment

2008-09-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

I've often heard the benefits of living in the moment, but I'm not sure living NOW is all that. We watched Amazing Race last night and saw a surge of emotions. One couple started out loving and ended up yelling at each other, other couple did their best to be supportive ("honey, I love you, but if you don't hurry up..."), and others were just all over the board. I thought about that this morning as Elliot and I started our day together. We get up and I'm thrilled to start a new day with him, knowing that Eric is working and I'm not going anywhere, so it's just me and Elliot ALL DAY! Yeah! We start breakfast and he eats really good with his spoon, except the part when I was refilling his juice cup and didn't realize he was spooning milk from his bowl into his hair. Kinda frustrating but kinda cute. We move on. Getting him dressed was a bit of a struggle as he's quickly learning his ability to not do what I ask him to. This is very frustrating and getting him dressed takes twice as long, and by the time we are done, I don't really want to go for a walk anymore. So just before 9am I've felt joy, love, frustration, and more. If I had lived in the moment, then the times of frustration could have been a lot worse - right? But since I allow (yeah, like I do it on purpose) my day to mix and emotions to overlap, the frustrations were always preceded or proceeded with happier thoughts.

Perhaps I'm looking at the whole "now" thing wrong. But either way, I'm sure glad I have loving thoughts before and after anger, or Elliot might end up like this kid:

A long time coming

2008-09-26T21:43:00.001-07:00

I created this blogs years ago and have only today decided to actually start blogging. Eric and I have started attending The Stirring, and they have a whole community of bloggers. So in efforts to connect myself more, I'm going to give it a go.....

Today we danced. Today was the first day that Elliot went potty in his toilet - twice even! After getting him to calm down and sit there for a while, we sang "Twinkle twinkle little star" to distract him from the task at hand. Around "like a diamond" he stopped paying attention to my funny little song and realize he was peeing! I'm sure the music coming from his potty chair helped draw his attention back to the point of this whole charade as well. When he was done and we'd cleaned everything up, he picked two jelly beans and we danced in celebration of his success. It was great.

I've now decided that the next time I succeed at a new task, I'm going to recruit those who are near to join with me in a dance of celebration. I think it is only fitting.