For a few years now I've waged war against porn. It hasn't been a personal struggle, but I've had people who are beyond close to me be torn apart from this addiction and the affects its had on them. Because of their experiences and struggle, I'd developed a very aggressive and abrupt outlook of porn. Tonight I was introduced to God's compassion over those who struggle. I'd never understood that porn isn't just the fruit of the world's culture, but it is a purposeful ploy of Satan's to pull people from God. That low self-esteems and poor body-images are a part of Satan's plan and not just the result of too many Seventeen magazines when I was younger. Also, I'd never been allowed (or tried, I guess) to understand what drives a person to porn - or back to it! Amazing how God's best laid plans can be crumbled when we allow ourselves to forget His Truth and dwell on fiction or a world of fantasy.
I'd like to publicly thank my husband for standing up for me and my self image. Tonight I realized I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans again. I didn't know they were my favorite until tonight. About a month ago I was complaining to a friend about how I didn't like my body because jeans never fit right especially these ones. Eric was apparently listening and told me later how he loved these jeans on me. And that did it for me. Just because Eric said he liked them, my esteem was raised and I moved closer to focusing on Truth rather than lies. I'd moved the jeans from my "laundry pants", to my favorite pair of pants without a conscious thought. So thank you to Eric, my wonderful husband, for reminding me that I am beautiful instead of letting me be consumed with my fake standards.
Everyone, please pray over tonight's message and it's effects. Tonight I felt so much power and love and freedom circulating throughout the church, it was overwhelming. My biggest prayer at the end of the night was that God's strength would follow people home and not be forgotten in the parking lot. That when people find themselves in their pattern of porn, longing for their spouse to be different or thinking they aren't skinny enough - they would call on God to remind them of His Truth and His Ways! I pray that confession, matched with compassion, would erupt in the homes of our members tonight and that encouragement and accountability would follow. Please, regardless of your personal relationship with pornography, pray for those who were convicted tonight and for their family members. Pray this elephant would be demolished!!!